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HeyHey!<3


Okay, so here is whats up...

During the Christmas break, Conor had promised me that he would not bother or make fun of my friends and I, I just found out that, no, "HE" wont bother us, he'll get his friends too.
I feel so betrayed. But what can I expect? What I did that made him hate me, even I can admit was low.

For some reason this entire week I've been really stressed. And I don't know why. My guess is, that I've always had a lot of bull s**t happen at school, so where do you go to get away from it? Home. But then, my Mom was driving me crazy, and threatening to throw all my stuff out, if I didn't clean my disasterous room in one night. And to top that off I find out my sister is selling my favourite out of her two dogs. And right when the feuds stated to settle, the heat rises again.

And for some very odd reason, during Geography class, I almost started crying when AJ told me they have an, "I hate Kellie Club" (Kellie is me). Of course, I'm not the only one in this club, some of my best friends are too.
But I still don't understand it. Why was I about to cry?
And this wasn't just a feeling of tears coming along, instantly my face turned red, and I could see the tears just barely sitting on my eyelids. My vision was so blurry, I could barely make out the words on the board, or on papers. I tried keeping my eyes open for a long time, to help dry my eyes and keep the tears in. But it wasn't that easy, I had to fight it. It was so hard.
Could it be that... *gulp*... I like AJ? (Eww...)

And to put the cherry on top of this oddly bad week, I'm in a fight with Amie, one of my best friends.
Now, I don't ask her too often to come because I need someone with me, in fact, I barely ask her to come at all. But back to the point, I was still holding back tears, and I asked her to come because I needed someone with me, and there is basicly no one else who lives close enough to me, she said a flat out "No."
And that didn't bother me too much, its when she called me to ask if I was mad, not to see if I was crying or not, to see if I was mad at her. Well I took that the wrong way. Basicly crying all ready, she calls to make sure she isn't in deep waters. I was pissed. Especially since, all I listen to for over 30 minutes, was her and her mom argueing. And even her Mom said to come over, because she never does these days.
And then what do I hear, "Oh, Hope is coming over."
Its always about Hope.
And then she says, that if I wanted to see her badly, I'd go to her house, she knows, that most... No, almost everytime I see her after school is when I go over to her house, so what did I say?
I said, "Well no. Because I try to make efforts to see you, and its always me, going to your house. And if your never going to try and make an effort to see me, then obviously, I'm not wanted to be seen. Good Bye."
I blocked and deleted her after that.

Grrr... I'm just so confused... I don't understand this at all...
I'm not used to being so lost, feeling so left out. As though there something that everyone else has been told, but they forgot to tell me.
I guess its what everyone goes threw...

Anyway, I know that was long and didn't make much sense, but if I could word it to make sense, then I wouldn't hae all these questions running threw my mind.

Well, I'm out!


Love Yous Lots!

Silver Poison