I have been on this earth for 16 years. And throughout these years i think the only time i have truly learned the most is these past four years. I have gone through horrible things throughout these years and no matter how may times i thought it was over it wasnt and i got through things i didnt think i would.. I went from being some one who didnt care for others to some one who did. Some one who would od anything to make others happy but i also had times where it all slipped and i was selfish. I have gotten stronger through these years and as i have been told by many "have the knowledge of an adult." But this isnt just bye people i know irl i have been told it by complete strangers who have just acidently heard part of one of my talks with others online. And yet with this knowledge i have gained i do everything possible to make people happy even if they dont deserve it. I was told i have a kind heart and that when it comes to helping others i take the kind loving way instead of the hard get over it way.. but i cant see why i wouldnt take the loving way.. i cant see how i couldnt... Even though i have been through pain and i am still in pain i have tried to keep a smile on my face and i have tried to make everyone happy in the roughest of times for me.. Even though i havent been treated great throughout my years i have treated others great.. and yet at times i dont.. i know how cruel this world and humans are.. I know that i cant trust but i also know i dont anyone else feeling the way i do.. i want to be happy but others come before my needs and i am not going to try to make myself happy because others need to be happy more then myself... I know i act childish and all but i think ill change.. i think ill be more serious now because i have just realized some things that i cant put in words.. but i know that i need to change.. i cant keep acting as if nothing is wrong and i cant keep acting if i dont know a thing cause in reality i know a lot and if i want to help people need to see i know what im talking about.. cause if they know then i can help others and maybe by then ill be happy and i can forget my pain i go through.. A man once said i was pretty smart for my age.. that i acted more like an adult and that i had the knowledge of one.. he also said though that even though this was true i was naive.. because i treated everyone so well.. sir your right i am naive but id rather be that then be cold... id rather care for everyone then dwell on their faults and my mistakes
 Ishira Tsubasa · Wed Feb 16, 2005 @ 11:12pm · 0 Comments |
