We put patches down about a week ago.. everything to me has been really depressing.. not because of her death though.. it plays a part in everything that has happened.. i dont remeber a lot that has happened though since once again i have blacked it out.. i hate it when i do that.. well i told lucas everything about three years ago and im glad hes not doing anything about it... it seems some stress hads come off of me since he knows and i feel i have another person to talk to. I havent given him the details and i cant believe that i didnt the moment that i told him the truth. In a way im happy cause i dont have to lie to him but in another way im no more close to happiness then i was three years ago... i feel im burdening him at the moment... i wish i could remember whats bugging me.. i do know though that im too close to breaking down.. i really havent had a true break down... im not sure what ill do if i break down... i have no stress reliever at all now since i cant play sports or ride horses... People say that theres other things i can do but the thing is im active and i have to be to solve my stress but when ever im active i hurt.... sighs im just ranting and i shouldnt be but i dont know what to do anymore......
 Ishira Tsubasa · Thu Jan 13, 2005 @ 03:20pm · 3 Comments |
