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I mean. No offense ot blakc people or anything, but steretypes just fit the majority of you so well.
It's statistically proven you commit more crimes.
I've personally noticed most of you are stupid, or project the image that you're stupid.
You do more drugs.
You're cooler looking.
you're 'gangsta'.
You're the only people who's slang could even be considered as a foreign language since it's so complete.

I always felt uncomfortable around blacks. I dunno why, maybe it's cause I'm afraid they're going to beat me up or something. Or steal something of mine.
Which you shouldn't be too pissed off by since I am paranoid about everyone stealing my s**t.

I didn't grow up around a lot of black people, and then I moved to florida.. And, like.. EVERYBODY'S black. I had a huge culture shock for a while there.
The kicker was that a lot of the blacks spoke spanish. That was like a foreign concept. I was like. "Wtf? They ******** up english into this 'ebonics' thing, but they moved onto spanish now?!"

So, since the very few black people I knew back home all fit fairly nicely into the bad stereotypes, I assumed that most or all black people were like them.
Of course, I know that exceptions exist now. I've met a lot some really smart black people. Cameron's a good friend of mine. He's an upperclassman and he helps me out with my project. He's got a family, job, everything. He's black.

But for every one reasonable black person, there's 100 stupid black people. I'm sure it's the same thing for whites, I guess it's just.. less negative. Or.. There's so many whites that 1 smart person per every 100 isn't so small a number.

But anyway, blacks and steretypes and black s**t in general isn't the point.

The point is, because of these stereotypes, I find myself judging blacks really harshly. I don't want to be friends with somebody who does drugs and speaks ebonics and is an a*****e. So I judge extra-harsh when it comes ot blacks.

So when I met a black artist - Kazaa - I tried to stay away from him for the most part.
I talked ot him a few times, but then he suddenly started hanging out with me more and more, asking advice on this goth catgirl(who is white) and his relationship with her.

It's stupid and I don't want to get into it.

But anyway, he comes over all the times and tells me about hima nd Kim(the catgirl) and I really don't care. But I wish he'd shut up.
Idunno. Maybe I AM racist. But he assumes that because I wear a tail I know everything there is to know about furries, so he'll be all like "whats this and this mean" and I'll be like "Zomg she's a CAT. What would it mean if two CATS were doing it?!"

But anyway.
I got drunk a few days back(thursday?) and wanted to be alone. So, like usual, I go for a walk. And I end up at the lake. But Kazaa's there.

I go tot he lake to be alone, but he was there. And I figured... Well. I'm drunk so it shouldn't really impact me that much.
So we talk a little bit, and then I kind of start falling asleep on the grass, and he starts.. well, molesting me, for lack of better wording.

Not his fault, I let him do it. He was feeling me up and s**t. He kept asking if it was okay, and I kept saying 'as long as it's not down the pants I don't care.' Which really I ddin't.. But now that I think back on it... I was drunk, so I shouldn't have been making those decisions.

So everything works out, there is no inpants s**t, and we part and then yesterday... Or maybe it was the same day. I forget.
He comes over to my place. And he's all depressed about his life and s**t.

And since I'm usually the one who's depressed, I'm not used to being in the mentor position. And honestly, I don't understand how you non-emos can take so much s**t from us emos. This is like the, what? 5th time, maybe, that someone has confided in me enough to tell me they were suicidal. And here I am thinking "******** A, I wish you'd shut up."

Maybe it's because he's black.
Or maybe it's because I'm FINALLY stable, and I don't want some black emo pulling me down again from the s**t I so very hard strived to achieve.

At this point I can't really tell.

So saturday, I have to go out and shoot the color theory thing at the lake(for the intro and outro to the vid), and he was there for when I was taping the outro. I said. "Oh. You're here. Trying to be alone?"
He says no, still obviously depressed.
And I say something like.. Why are you out here if you don't want to be alone?
He says he likes looking at water.
And I say "And being alone."
And he says no he doesn't want to be alone.

Well. I, like an avoiding a**, shoot my thing, then it conviently starts raining, so I have to split so my equipment doesn't go to s**t.
I start running off, and he says "You need help carrying it?" and you could totally tell by the look on his face he needed somebody.

I said no.
And ran away as fast as I could.

I am such a racist a*****e. A racist, alcholic, androgynous struggling asexual a*****e.