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This is my confession. I will say here and now, if anyone sees it or not. I do not hate Arits in any way, shape or form. His murder by my hands brings me a sadness like no other. His passing should not have happened, but I went against myself, and my own morals in letting him die. I admitt now that I did not win the fight with. I SAY AGAIN, I DID NOT WIN THE FIGHT WITH ARITS!!!! No one knows but me and him, I GAVE UP! I told Arits before the final blow that he won, he could have stopped the fight before his attack and claimed his prize. But yet he continued his attack, which was fine as well, but when I allowed for him to connect and finish me, he instead changed his mind and let himself die. The fight was over way before but yet I still won, this brings myself shame and disshonor.
Not only did I not win techniquelly, but I myself over stepped my own boundry. After Arits survived the explosion of Shattered Blaze, I should have given up. I shouldn't have continued. I admitt here and now that Arits was atleast twice as strong as me. His demonic body and dark powers were great enough to resist the pure holy energy of both the Holy Sphere and the Spirit Unification. I should have surrendered, I didn't want to die, and I didn't want Arits to die, but I still pushed him to the edge and didn't stop. I am a murderer and nothing more.
I would like to say now I do not hate Arits, or the ELC. It does, however, sadden me that Arits was not able to come to me with his problems, but instead would rather go against me. I would also like to state that if Arits had continued his plans to attack me, he would not have a war, or a confrontation or what ever you want to call it with the FAC. He would have nothing more then one dead squad leader, because I would not take up arms against Arits, and would not allow any other member of the FAC to do so. I would do no more then try and debate the situation and if I was unable to reason with him, then I would have let him do as he wished.
I have one final thing to say as well. This isn't a confession just information. After the tournament, I was going to give Arits a Christmas present so to speak. Because of the respect I have for Arits, I was going to allow him to form his own squad on the FAC. I figured with the amount of respect and talent he had, he would not only attracked members to his squad, but to the clan in general. I guess waiting for Christmas was a bad idea.
That's everything, my confession. It had to be said, because with the problems on Y!M, I may not be around much longer to admitt this later.
 Rave Matthias · Wed Jan 05, 2005 @ 02:41am · 3 Comments |
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