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Christmas has just recently passed and once again I spent it with my family. However, this year has been different from the past year's holidays. This year was rather depressing for me. I'm a Senior in highschool and I realized that these are my last holidays at home. After highschool I will be enlisted in the Air Force. Whether it be through an ROTC scholarship, or plain enlistment. Next year I may not be able to return home for the holidays because I have no idea what is in store for me an entire year from now.
So I realized something. In the past years I took things forgranted. Including the holidays. Even though I knew things would eventually change, still it seemed that things would always be as they were, year after year. But this year it occured to me that things wouldn't always be like this. And so I cherished each moment of the holidays, knowing they may very well be my last until who knows how many years down the road.
In the weeks prior Christmas, I had found myself crying at night several times. For the thought of possibly not being able to share the holidays with my family depressed me greatly. I would think of all the things I would be able to have. Not just the holidays, but simple things, everyday things...Like waking up to a hug from my mother every morning. Or occassionally having my mom braid my hair just for the heck of it. Or those long philosophical talks with dad about religion, government, or whatever else. One night, when I lay awake crying, I went to my mother's room and she just held me. But that just made me cry even more for it made me think of how I wouldn't have that either. But she told me that instead of grieving over the things to be lost, I should cherish them while I still have them. And I do. I've learned to deal with the fact that I won't have such simple pleasures for much longer. I no longer waste time as much as I used to. I try to fill my remaining days to their fullest and make the most of them.
To move away will be a great loss. But the memories I'll take with me are of more value than that which I'm leaving behind.