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I met this guy one random day last summer.
He just happened to be getting out of the shower when me and his step brother showed up.
I thought it was cute, but didn't think I would see him again and that he was to much out of my league to be anything more.
Plus he said said he put his two weeks in so he could pack and move across country..
Definitely didn't think I would see him again...
During September/October, he started coming over to see his nephews because his step brother lives with me.
One day (October 19th, 2022) I wasn't hiding in my room because I had to fix something in the living room, but his step brother called me away from what I was doing, and he took over trying to fix what I was working on, when I came back to what I was doing, he started talking to me, and happened to notice my eyes, and said he liked them, then we got into a Disney facts / quiz.
(October 20, 2022) he started messaging me on Snapchat and messenger.
That weekend everyone in my house was going to the lake, and I wasn't expecting him to be there, and bam, he was, we sat on the tailgate of his truck talking, and looking at shooting stars. Went out the next weekend and the next, and since then he has been at my house every night, sleeping next to me.


But...

I think there is something wrong me.
Whenever I am happy, I want to cry.
Whenever I'm sad, I want to cry.
Whenever I feel like I messed up, I want to cry.
Whenever I feel like I am being to clingy, I want to cry.
Whenever he leaves, I want to cry.
I think there is more to my feelings then I want to let him or anyone know.
I'm scared he doesn't feel the same.
I'm scared that I don't make him as happy as he makes me.
I'm scared that I am to clingy and he doesn't like it.
I'm scared I am not giving him enough space.
I get jealous when his phone goes off.
Like I know he can't be around me 24-7 because
1) I work from 4-12 Wednesday - Saturday and 2-10 Sunday.
2) he has his own things to do back at home/ storage
But I'm scared when he isn't over here.
I don't see him at much when I'm at work, he used to come in a bit more but now he doesn't because he is normally across town at his mom's packing stuff up.
He is a handsome man, he is a sweetheart, can be hard headed from time to time about things but it's okay.
I don't want to lose what I have
And since it's only been since October 2022, I'm scared that I fell for this man hella, I'm scared that this isn't just a like, it's love..
I'm scared that this is the first time I have loved someone in a long time.
He is the only man I have been with that had brought this side of me out, ever!

I love to look at him while he sleep,
I love to hold his hand.
I love to cuddle.
I love when we drive to his house, the store, or just to go get dinner
I love when I am asleep and he comes and cuddles me and give me kisses
I love how sweet he is
I love watching him play his game.
I love it when he puts on rain sounds to help me sleep when he isn't next to me sleeping because he knows it helps me sleep..
I love the little things I do for him even if I can't fully afford it.

The only things I don't like is when he doesn't text me like he said he would. And I am pretty sure he has been messaging everyone else who has been messaging him......

This past weekend of mine. I got him all 3 days. Even though I missed out on 8 hours of it because I had to be at work on Sunday, I am happy he stayed here with me over my weekend and my Friday. (February 19-21, 2023) but I also feel bad because he did have plans to hang out with his best friend, and he couldn't get a hold of her on the 22nd, because she was in the hospital, and I feel bad that I took that time away from him... I know I miss see and having my best friend... [My own doing ofc on why we aren't friends anymore not his]


He is the absolute best, while he is out today (February 23, 23), he is gonna get me my vape stuff. I told him to go get himself a swisher while he is out too. Hopefully I still have 40$ to get him smoke tonight. And we get food when I get off of work. I know I still have a little bit of cash in my wallet.



**My work week is 4-12 Wednesday - Saturday ~ 2-10 Sunday**


Will be adding more later/each day that goes by**