"Tourniquet"
i tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
i lay dying
and i'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am i too lost to be saved
am i too lost?
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
i want to die!!!
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will i be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide
I'm dedicating The songs below to someone......
"My Immortal" by Evanescence.
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
"Lies"
Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again
You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above
[Chorus:]
They'll never see
I'll never be
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger
Burning deep inside of me
But through my tears breaks a blinding light
Birthing a dawn to this endless night
Arms outstretched, awaiting me
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree
Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you
[Chorus]
[Chorus]
Rest in me and I'll comfort you
I have lived and I died for you
Abide in me and I vow to you
I will never forsake you
[Chorus]
"Going Under"
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
(I’m going under)
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowing in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
"My Last Breath"
hold on to me love
you know i can't stay long
all i wanted to say was i love you and i'm not afraid
can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
i'll miss the winter
a world of fragile things
look for me in the white forest
hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
closing your eyes to disappear
you pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth
no one's there
say goodnight
don't be afraid
calling me calling me as you fade to black
holding my last breath
safe inside myself
are all my thoughts of you
sweet raptured light it ends here tonight
"Anything For You"
I'd give anything to give me to you
Can you forget the world that you thought you knew
If you want me,
Come and find me
Nothing's stopping you so please release me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Nothing left to make me feel anymore
There's only you and everyday I need more
If you want me
Come and find me
I'll do anything you say just tell me
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
Anything for you
I'll become your earth and sky
Forever never die
I'll be everything you need
I'll believe
All your lies
Just pretend you love me
Make believe
Close your eyes
I'll be anything for you
"Bring Me To Life"
how can you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where I’ve become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
now that I know what I’m without
you can't just leave me
breathe into me and make me real
bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)
Bring me to life
frozen inside without your touch without your love darling only you are the life among the dead
all this time I can't believe I couldn't see
kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
I’ve been sleeping a thousand years it seems
got to open my eyes to everything
without a thought without a voice without a soul
don't let me die here
there must be something more
bring me to life
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I can’t wake up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
call my name and save me from the dark
(Wake me up)
bid my blood to run
(I can’t wake up)
before I come undone
(Save me)
save me from the nothing I’ve become
(Bring me to life)
I’ve been living a lie, there’s nothing inside
(Bring me to life)
"Where Will You Go"
You’re too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You’re the one who cries when you’re alone
[Chorus:]
But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can’t escape
You can’t escape
You think that I can’t see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You’re left to face yourself alone
[Chorus:]
But where will you go (where will you go)
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can’t escape
The truth
I realize you’re afraid (I realize)
But you can’t abandon everyone
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape
I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alone?
I can hear you when you whisper
But you can’t even hear me screaming
[Chorus:]
Where will you go (where will you go)
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can’t escape
The truth
I realize you’re afraid (I realize)
But you can’t reject the whole world
You can’t escape
You won’t escape
You can’t escape
You don’t want to escape
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My Demon Heart
Dedications, rare ramblings....
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