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It's been a while since i've been on..
I was bored studying and my tumblr dash wasn't that active, so i suddenly decided to check my account. logging in was a little difficult since i couldn't remember my password and needed to try a few times.
After finally logging in, i was just looking around and suddenly found some old journal entries i wrote almost 10 years ago. unsurprisingly, i cringed at some of them but i was really young so i guess it's a normal reaction that most people experience? anyways, i've probably stopped playing gaiaonline for over... 6-8 years now? i remember quitting somewhere around early high school, probably grade 9 or somewhere around the time i was still a rock fan and liked three days grace. haha my three days grace days.. i'm in my 4th year of university now so although i can't remember when i stopped playing, i remember it was quite a long time ago. if anyone is even reading this and thinks i should be significantly older than that when you met me 8-10 years ago then yes, you are correct! internet predators were already around by the time it was trendy to go on the internet, school presentations on "online safety" were also very effective on me, so i lied about my age because i was THAT young.
A lot has changed since my gaia phase, the biggest change is that i went from being a complete extrovert to being an introvert. i don't have severe social anxiety or anything but socializing is something i like to do anymore. from grade 9 to grade 11, i think i mentally aged about 2 months. from grade 12 to now, i think i aged at least 20 years. no more details..
The second biggest change since my gaia phase was probably getting into kpop. it's pretty much my main interest nowadays and i basically breathe it lollll. BTS is pretty much my life now, j-hope (from here on, hobi) is my sun and my new massive crush, yuta from NCT, is my moon. i'm surprised i even liked NCT to begin with since the only group i pay slight attention to is super junior (i respect shinee a lot though) and i didn't think their whole "no definite amount of members" concept would be something i'd like knowing my bias could potentially be removed from the group since they technically aren't even a definite member. however, nakamoto proved me wrong. i don't have much to say about NCT since they're still new so the rest of my post will be about BTS. i don't want to type for 4 hours either, i'll try to make this very straightforward since they are two very important memories i must remember for the rest of my life.
First, 2015 BTS live triology in USA episode 2: the red bullet.. basically i really wanted to go, but many things prevented me from going, lots of tears were involved before the trip, and i was finally able to go. ngl it was a little scary traveling for the first time by myself (it was only my second time flying) to a foreign country with only one other person who's the same age as me. we were both clueless about traveling, but our passion for BTS did not stop us from doing anything to see them in chicago. i couldn't get a ticket with fan interactions but it was still extremely fun and i got a good view for most of the concert. i was an emotional wreck, i cried a lot during the 2 hour concert until pretty much all my makeup was gone and screamed until i basically lost my voice. i was already sick before going there since it was extremely hot in chicago (the end of july) and we had to walk around a lot since our hotel was really far from the airport area. the three days spent in chicago were very eventful and although the actual trip around the city wasn't fun since we had no wifi, there was nothing around our area and we didn't know where we were going, the concert made up for every single bit of it. i also achieved my life goal of seeing BTS at least once in my life. the story doesn't end here, I SAW BTS AGAIN IN SEPTEMBER THE SAME YEAR. THIS TIME, IN TORONTO!
BTS announced a mini north american tour to promote this fashion mess thing (i have no idea what it was about but i'm pretty sure i knew about the event as much as all the other attending fans and staff) but it didn't even matter what they were promoting since they were performing! they didn't perform many songs, but there were fan interactions if you bought a VIP ticket. of course i bought the best one, and saw them again two months later. it was honestly unreal. unlike the red bullet, i got to touch each member, see them from close up, and take a picture with them (and 30 other people lol). they were all beautiful in real life, and much taller than expected. the highlights of my event were when hobi (i think, pretty sure) waved at me right at the end of his part in dope since i was close to the front and was the only one in my area with a neon hobi sign, and when he waved at me right before i left the venue. i have a feeling namjoon recognized me too since my hair is a little unique and i was crying a lot when i first saw them as they were signing my poster. a few members told me not to cry and namjoon's words touched me, he said "awww don't cry, today's supposed to be a happy day!" with the most genuine smile ever. hobi probably also remembered me since it was quite obvious he was my favourite member haha. anyways, we had to leave the venue after we took the group picture. i turned around to look at the members one last time, the closest members were taehyung and jin i believe. neither of them looked my direction. i turned around to look at hobi, and he saw me! i waved at him and he waved back, at me! for sure this time! my ultimate bias, who i've been loving for almost 3 years now acknowledged my existence and gave me fanservice!
Anyways, i'm tired of typing now and should get going. i won't be on often but in a few years (?) when i spontaneously log back on to gaia again and read this post, i might cringe a little. however, reading about my extremely happy and beautiful memories of BTS will probably put a slight smile on my face.