Well, I guess it's time to just jot a few things down... As of today I just found out that my own mother has pretty much left me a mother of three at the age of nineteen. I've been feeling that way for a while now, seeing as how she hasn't been home more than a couple of hours a week. But today... She was talking to me about 'visitations'. As if she was letting go of her parental rights. If you weren't there, and are hearing of it from word of mout-er hands, you may ask the question of "How can you be sure that she is giving up parental rights." If you were there, you would have heard the emotionless tone and the legal terms she spoke. You would have seen the slightly ashamed way she held herself, seen the downcast eyes. The way she sat before me talking about discussing visitation rights to the kids with me, as if it were something as simple as what we were having for breakfast... It broke my heart. She knew she was doing something wrong, or at least a little strange, and spoke of it several times.
Yes, my father is in the picture. He works a full time job and comes home after the kids are ready to go to bed. He rarely has a break, and for the last few years has supported a lifestyle that nearly put us in the poorhouse. Not his own life style, but his wife's.
I am only nineteen. I graduated earlier this year, a few months before my birthday. I had college offers. I was heading into the military. But... Now I can't leave until I make sure my sisters and brother are safe and secure. Which could very well take years. I've had to give up my phone, car, and several things so that I could put food in their mouths already, and it has only been a few months.
I'm just... I don't know how to explain it. I'm sinking into a despairing feeling that I am not good enough. I'm no mother, but I have been thrust into this position. I just had this position cemented today as well... I have no idea what to do.
Well... If there really is someone reading this, I'm sorry if I bored you. I tend to ramble randomly at times. Honestly, it's one of my worst qualities sweatdrop .
Until next time. neutral
Yes, my father is in the picture. He works a full time job and comes home after the kids are ready to go to bed. He rarely has a break, and for the last few years has supported a lifestyle that nearly put us in the poorhouse. Not his own life style, but his wife's.
I am only nineteen. I graduated earlier this year, a few months before my birthday. I had college offers. I was heading into the military. But... Now I can't leave until I make sure my sisters and brother are safe and secure. Which could very well take years. I've had to give up my phone, car, and several things so that I could put food in their mouths already, and it has only been a few months.
I'm just... I don't know how to explain it. I'm sinking into a despairing feeling that I am not good enough. I'm no mother, but I have been thrust into this position. I just had this position cemented today as well... I have no idea what to do.
Well... If there really is someone reading this, I'm sorry if I bored you. I tend to ramble randomly at times. Honestly, it's one of my worst qualities sweatdrop .
Until next time. neutral
