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Ha ha Yes i remembered to write in this today. And i remember what i was going to write. Yess.. yet not yes because its depressing. -ahem- Alright here i go
Do you ever get that feeling? Or is it kinda of a feeling you always have, but sometimes ignore? It's as if I'm never at full consciousness, as if im always in a dream. Is this reality? or is it all in my head? It's sort of a fear of mine, that all of this isnt real and its all fake. Like in the matrix. This is all a computer program, not real life. Or perhaps in puberty, as you're growing up your brain is still developing to its fullest so you're slightly less conscious as you could be or something. It's like im a split second away or a split moment in time that reality is. I suppose this all doesnt make sense. But this feeling has haunted me all my life.. it's caused me depression and lonliness and the feeling of distance from just simply living normally. Or perhaps, this is full consciousness and i just feel jipped? Or maybe its simply because im a hermit shut in who barely talks to anybody, so the feeling of life is out of my reach because i simply dont reach far enough. It's like in real life there is still a screen infront of me.. Hm Interesting. I fell better getting that off my chest owo

Welp, tomorrow is finally friday and i hope he gets online .w. -sigh- hopefully. Well whoever reads this (and if no one then just whoever is in charge of the universe) Wish me luck