I frankly don't give a damn.
I could give a damn but I won't.
And sometimes I feel like screaming.
Like ripping out my veins.
Like killing myself.
but then again
who am I to say...
I am not using them right back?
I just dont know.
I get it I love him
but theres always one major obstical he cannot surpass.
One he will not surpass.
I'm okay with it, I really am.
It just angers me.
It's so frustrating.
So what if he's using me?
So what if everything is a lie?
So what if I know he'll leave me?
So what?
It's insane really,
I'm not there but I am there.
I am the fuel to the fire.
I am the end to story.
I am the sin.
I know it's the truth even if he doesn't want to admit it.
I hate myself because he might blame himself.
I hate myself because I'm so god-damn young.
I hate myself because I enjoy being stupid.
I hate myself mainly because I just cause him pain
And I don't want to let go but I dont want it to hurt him.
I don't know, okay?
I'm just trash,
I know it and at least I can come to terms with that.
SO what if he's just messing with me?
Everything will be fine... as long as he keeps pretending.
and I know it'll end because of me and my flaws.
and I know it hurts.
and I know I won't try anymore.
Nothing will ever make admends.
Nothing will ever change what's happened
but
We have to live with the choices we've made
Maybe I can't live this way
but it's too late to look back
"I'll see you in another life...
Where we'll never say goodbye"
-Lucy - Skillet
Where we'll never say goodbye"
-Lucy - Skillet
