Fix the poem

Prodigy resonate
Understand obstinance
Focus beneath marginal gain
Transparency lacks discrepancy
Bequeath moral grace
Daring hoards confess
The royal we
Worship aside from self
Evident roads fracture
Crests run through tolerance
Give flesh it's time
Conquer fairer arenas
Latitude connects
Mend Juggernauts
Shift actuarial tables
Craft serene containment
Fearlessly approach
Know hearts
Ready just aim
Feel true

Fix the joke
An Oregon sandwich shop held a 32 oz ranch dressing drinking contest. Contestants that tried there luck at chugging the creamy liquid agreed condiments should be upgraded to power food.

In recent news the number of slackers have jumped up an astounding 25%! Annalists tribute the rise of 25 to 35 year olds living with there parents to the bad economy. In a related article World of Warcraft economists are expecting another epic win.

There is a web show called ultimate proposal: In the show people are given the means to make grand gestures out of asking the person they love to marry them. In one episode "Kenny planned is to create some original art pieces stage and art show, choreograph a two part dance routine and bring in two live vocalist." When asked if he thought his plan was going to work he said. "Well if it doesn't I can always sell the rites to the hack writers of "Glee".

A gunman opened fire Wednesday in a busy hair salon, killing eight people. A suspect was stopped by officers about a half-mile away and surrendered without incident while saying “I told them I wanted to look like a million bucks. Not look like Donald flippin’ Trump!”

Somebody threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods during a match. The meat-slinger was taken into custody on charges of disturbing the peace but released without doing any hard time. Tiger was embarrassed for it turns out getting wiener in-between putts was dictated in the divorce settlement. “In short don’t cross the Swedes,” Tiger warns, “they take your money and give you the schnitzel.”

A family calls 911 in order to get out of a Cleveland corn maze. The couple transverse one hundred feet into the corn maze with an upset three week old child. Officers found the couple helped them out of the maze. Though the officers refused to release the couple until they were certain neither of them where pastures or had visited Gatlin Nebraska.