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Nyan~ [/ flops on the ground]

I read a few of my journal entries from long long long ago, skipping here and there. I mostly just looked for events I remember and poems. I love some of those poems <3 Meh, but it had made me blah.'

I tried to explain the Tj thing to Dakuo and... I think it got me thinking. Letting.... in the numbness that she can only cause. The dark devouring depths that want me to hate.

u___u He says he didn't understand. I've written so many things about it that I should be over it but I'm not. Got us talking about how we'd work through my past...

I wanted to bite him.
To run away and never come back.
I became a wild thing.
Violent and overgrown with thorns.
In a single instance,
I morphed, thinking,
what if I dun wanna get over it?
What if I'm not ready?
HMMMM?!

I told you... I'm terrified of the future. Don't, don't tell me you'll fix me. Not yet.

I ... I do want you to be the person who helps "save" me but... I have trouble still depending on people. You're pushing it a little fast here. You don't even know about my suicide stuff or Axel or the girls that I make up. What will happen when I make new girls? My alters... u____u [/ sigh] I miss it so. The comfort of more people and being able to depend on myself.

[/ throws herself against a wall] T___T I'm terrified again.

STOP HOLDING ME IN MY MIND!

[/ rages] u___u Promises promises promises promises! D> FMEijflwrnfwf I want to hurt and watch a movie I want to ignore. Not tell you. I want to go. I won't. I'm going to message you, right now.

I'll do it.

I'll keep my promise. ******** hate v asjrenjve.rk hatew twen rgjnerjngfsejfnasc ressssentment

>x

I don't like being taken care of! I CAN'T DO IT SO FAST! I CAN'T LET DOWN THSES vlsnerklnvasznjf I will >X AT WAR <MIENsf

At war, my mind is at war.

I'm talking about it

I feel a little light headed as I do but, I'm glad I'm talking about it
I'm glad I let you catch me.
I like your affections and all your honestly.

My eyes are swelling with little tear bubbles

Fu-

I want to watch a movie
>u<

I want you to know me better before promising forever.
I suppose it's just me worrying you're gonna dedicate yourself to someone bad- to someone who has baggage you didn't know about
I feel bad. I don't want to wear you out. It is difficult... I won't lie.
Being close to me is hard... I expect a lot. I do give a lot too...

Ugh [/ falls on the floor] I like you too much. I mmfkmf [/ covers mouth with ducktape] >/