I don't know why I even write these anymore. Nobody ever reads them. And those who read them don't care.
I'm going through a very difficult time right now, which anyone who read my journal would know, but not once has anyone taken notice. My family is falling apart, my best friend just moved, my cats are fighting, I'm battling depression, my $90 tablet won't work still, my relationship recently ended(which is more of just a stress factor), and I'm lovesick to a disgusting level. But nobody would know about any of that, except maybe Stephanie and Adeola.
Obviously I'm having trouble. I mean, 7 of 11 of my past journals were about the difficulties I'm going through. Did nobody think to offer a little sympathy or at least tell me they care about me during all of this? It's not like I've been subtle about how I'm feeling; I have been very open about how upset I am.
And obviously SOMEBODY is reading my journals, because they have views. So do you guys just not care? Am I not worth your time enough for you all to waste thirty of your seconds to just send me a "sorry" or a "I hope things get better" or anything? I feel abandoned by all of you.
I know you've all been online, because half of the time I log in and check out the "My Gaia" page and I can see for myself that you're online at that very moment.
Yes, I'm angry. I've been angry for a while. All of this just makes me feel alone and unimportant. I doubt you all are trying to make me feel like this, but for once I'd like somebody to actually care. Most of the time I feel like you all ignore me and push me aside to make way for your "better friends".
Sometimes I feel like giving up. Giving up on school, on people, on my life as a whole. And each time you all ignore my emotions it gets worse. And it's disheartening for me to think that none of you would care if I was gone.
Ebil-NekoCat Community Member |
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