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Family Matters
Family has got to be the most challenging parts to life. Ok at the beginning of the month of may was my girls first birthday. Me and my new love when down to visit for a day since traveling from Chicago at the is far beyond our budgets well my love had to keep his distance in a hotel. We used over 1000 in travel and gifts for her birthday. Her father held the party at his moms alright. The party went well from my perspective. I know kaden enjoyed her toys and cake rofl Well afterwards I didn't have much time to spend with her sad and I feel really awful about it till now. I am still too poor to see my baby again this month. Her father didn't like the fact that I had to get going so we ended up on bad terms before I had to leave. He offered to pay for my stay but Adan had to get back to work the next day and taking money from my ex would have been too awkward and I felt it would take away money from my girl and that wasn't needed. He refuses to let me take her out of state to stay with me so that angers me. I feel bad in admitting this but I haven't talked to him since or even checked up on kaden after he sent threatening messages to my boyfriend. I haven't had a phone inservice to call and check on her since my minuts were gone the next day.All I know is he would call my boyfriend from his prepaid phone without minuts and ask for me while he was on duty and insult him. It comes a time when petty s**t needs to stop I felt. So now I feel like we should be distanced for awhile again till things cool down. Plus it is not healthy for my girl. So I'm hoping the best for kaden and im praying for her as well a her great grandmother GG. Right now Ill admit these pressures are barring down on me making me depressed and all. My future is looking pretty bleak for now I suppose. In the future I hope I'll be able to provide and be with my girl on my own for some time. She doesn't even recognize her own mom right now since I'm not there for her yet which is pretty depressing. Not to mention anytime I see her everyone is smothering her with attention leaving me On the back burner. She needs her time well spent with me and no interruptions that way she will recognize me as her mom and then things will be back to normal again.
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