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Hello :]
It has been a while since I posted on here, so I thought I would drop an entry. It was quite a laugh reading my old journal entries, yet it showed me a lot about myself, and just how I handled things back in the old days. I was and still am very big on beating myself up for things that are/are not my fault. I also realized some of the horrible relationships I was in, and just how horrible they were. I found out later in life that they were pretty bad, but I am just not realizing the extent they went to. I also realized why I had some of the issues I had with my father. I always assumed it was normal to feel like I did towards my dad, it was always borderline hatred. I thought everyone had at least one parent who they just didnt get along with, and thats why they were given the second parent, to balance it out. Not in my case though, I had some long hidden issues with my dad that I didnt realize until sometime this year. Its weird how taking a class for two months could change my mindset so much, and help me understand myself better. Its really interesting when you really look at yourself and see how truly screwed up you are. Especially when you find it on your own, its not others rubbing it in your face. I feel I have matured a lot in these past years, though I am still a kid at heart. Even in this entry alone I think there is a lot of proof of maturity. Im not nearly as much of a spaz as I used to be, and so far I havent used even one smiley face, though now Im tempted to use one! Also my spelling is a lot better, I dont know how I managed to make so many typos. I seriously wanted to go through all of my entries and fix them all. Anyway...life could be worse, and it could be better, but I am pretty content with it at the moment. I hope it becomes better soon though, I'd love to be able to say that life is just "OMG IT IS LIKE FREAKIN SUPER AMAZING~~!!! *spazzes out more*" Maybe it will be the next time I make an entry...hopefully tomorrow? We'll see, I'll be back soon...maybe...hopefully, you never know with me. :]
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