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Minds, that wanted something more to grasp onto, they collided. Attitudes of the same demeanor collide. All dreams must end. Trees, no longer bloom. It is night the dark sky and clouds. Flashing lights of planes float in the skies above the boy’s head. His worries are heavy; his eyes are tired, and full of a need. His only friend was his shadow. He never loved, never yearned for another. No more his heart spoke, no more his body raged. No more phony people, no more anger. He didn’t really know what to do with himself when he felt alone, so he sat in the rain and looked into the distance, he never knew how to make himself happy only others. Just listen to me, listen to me your heart. He ignored that emotion, that feeling that bliss that the world called love. He simply gave advice. His mind was his childhood, his future and his present all trapped in a 12x12 room simply called the mind. When it is all said and done we all live in cocoons. These cocoons that no one can breach or enter, is this truth surreal?
All emotions blended and bled within the rains cold arms. Maybe when he lost it all, all of the things he held dear, maybe then after all of that maybe then he just wanted to see all the things that he thought were dead to be alive again. Ka-boom goes the boy’s lips as he watches a woman’s heart explodes as he watches her walk away from an affair she just had with a cheap man for pleasure. The reason her eyes were red, and water down her cheek was sorrow and regret. The cost of her love was cheap now, was it cheap of enough for the boy to grab it and break her down? The boy stalked her shadow, following her movements in his own realm of shadows. He indulged himself in the pain of others. He waited for her to make her way into his realm; she inched her way further and further into his world where they both met with his tongue and her cheek. Pressed against her body he whispered dark words of despairs into her eyes. His words twisted her eyes until sweet drops of sorrow fell from them. She fell to her knees, begging herself for forgiveness, she didn’t want to be the woman she was she wanted to be saved, the boy saw the pain within her eyes he saw her true self. He grabbed at her pride and snatched at her soul. The boy’s grins swept into the woman’s mind making her lose her control of her ways. She fell to the boy’s insanity and never cried for her loss in pride. After all of the tears, and sorrow, she stood on her filthy knees and she admired the dark beauty that was the world she cried out for some type of pain, a pain that would ease her wanting to say that she didn’t love her husband like she used to.
That boy’s mind was powerful, he opened the darkness within so many, and allowed them to see their wrong-doings he wanted to save the world, his mind wanted to forget his own pain and save others. Where did he go wrong? Drunken champagne kissed punches that bleed blue, he didn’t know what to make of himself, it was his curse. He made women, hate and men want to kill him. There is only so much hatred one man can take within heart, where was the love he wanted? The love he wanted from his past lover? The love he fought for? Where was everything, he called himself calm. What calmness could exist to be enough to chip away at one’s sanity? He grabbed at his cheeks pulling at them in distress. The news from his heart that he was alone wouldn’t leave him alone. He saw photos of himself dying alone, and forgotten, never reminded of the love he could have from a mother, or a father, or a lover.
The boy walked, untainted by his thoughts, with a menacing smile, and a chip on his shoulder. He returned to his home, where everything was black and white; no lies, no pain, no complexities, no people to hurt him, so he sat there within his mind. His body clinched together hands grabbing his knees, he waited there until some other lost soul who was stumbling down his path so he could save them, and save their minds, he wanted to redeem his insanity, he wanted peace. He just wanted to be superman, his worries, and his body and mind won’t let him be anything but a lonely wretch. So he’ll stay here a lonely wretch inside of me, inside of Allen Monroe Dubois.
He can never escape.