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Isn't it curious how people respond when they're provoked? It almost never ends in a good response if they get angry and act on their feelings.

Say, for example, today, where I look back at the events of the day and realize just how many times I was provoked and responded back with a few provocations of my own.

I didn't find anything wrong with it at the time, but a co-worker thought otherwise and voiced her concern about it.

Now, when I hear a concern that holds some credibility, my mind is bothered by it, hence this being the subject of today's purging. This is something I need to write about.

Anyway, she said a little statement, something or other, basically amounting to them (the people provoking me to give witty repartee back to them) to stop provoking me. I can't remember the exact words.

Anyway, this made me start thinking. I know that sometimes it's all just a bit of fun that we have with our friends, but sometimes it gets out of hand.

When it gets out of hand, it can affect people beyond what could ever be deemed 'fun'. I'm not entirely sure about its effect on myself, nor do I want to start investigating to find out because I did enough self mind analysis in my second entry yesterday. Plus, describing oneself so much in psychobabble gets to be droll after a while.

All I know is that it can affect my sociability and emotional state. Especially when the people provoking me to give these responses are the ones who leave early from work while I am the one who stays until 5:30 because I was "in charge" of a time consuming job for the day, and I, not asking for help and not receiving any, listened as the very happy people went off to live their very happy lives while I was stuck examining, fixing, and then forwarding their work that was dumped onto me last minute.

Believe me, I wasn't entirely happy when I left. Thankfully I had an outlet for my anger: I decided to invite one of the people from upstairs to the birthday party that was happening tomorrow, without the other people's knowledge. Now, this guy is alright, but he's the kind that can get on your nerves sometimes.

Yeah, I planned this to happen. I admit that. I regret it somewhat after inviting him, on account of the people that it will affect, but that means that I no longer have the evil eye for them.

As per usual temptations, I started devising excuses for this when the plan unfolded. "I did it out of the generosity I felt after fixing and forwarding everyone's work they dumped at the end of the day and finally leaving work at 5:30, two hours and thirty minutes after I started" was the best one I had.
But that just doesn't seem right for me to say. Even though I was already busy getting a handle on my own workload, and even though they could have had the decency to suggest I start working with their stuff early, I have to tell the truth.

At least to one of them, considering he's the one with the birthday and he's willing to drive me to the party as well. I'll tell him on the way there, hopefully he won't mind it so much.

But yeah. it's pretty weird how people respond when they're provoked. All I'm hoping for is that I won't get provoked any further when I go to work again in the morning, which is something I need to do but don't want to.

I'm still mildly annoyed at one person, though, and if he even so much as looks at me funny I might get one of my screws loose.


Yesterday I said to myself that the stuff I was going through now was the determination stage. Well, it's safe to say that I blew it today.

Man, I don't get paid enough to deal with this crap.