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I felt ill as I staggered onto my bed, this couldn't be happening I thought. Chills corsed up my body, and I shook with confusion. My heat was up, I was tired all the time and not sleeping or eating properly. And worst of all, I boiled over my tea til it spilt all over, none was left in the cup. My hair fell down in its natural post-shower wave. I hadn't had a bath in two weeks. Only showers. They depressed me, made me feel cold, like a prisoner. I longed to sit in heat, warm myself up, bathe myself in purity and pretend it helped me sort out my mind, fix my broken clockwork.