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these are from the days i did not have interent to post on gaia but i needed to write so i just wrote on a word document D:

9-14-10

This is for not having the internet to put this on my gaia page. I just did not want to forget I guess you can say this moment in time because I would like to look back on this and say “wow your stupid” or “that makes since.” Something like that.
So today was picture day and well my picture actually turned out pretty good if I say so myself! biggrin im wearing my underoath T and well, it was pretty decent compared to all my other pics in the past which are all. D:< yea… lol
Other then that the strangest thing happened during lunch, ok so I was walking by the theater and I guess they saw me or something idk but Mairsa ( LONG story, if you don’t know who this is lol) comes running out (I can hear the footsteps behind me and I hear someone say “SAL!”. Then im like wtf? And I turn around to see Marisa standing right there and im kinda taken off guard you know and she looks so.. familiar. Anyways it turned out she ran out just to say hi I guess and had to get back to whatever she was doing but I was like wow I did not see that coming.
Now that brings us to being at home. I got home and was hella tired and took my usuall afternoon nap and I kinda just woke up so the dream is kinda fresh. In the dream was Marisa, just like I use to dream about her non stop before and it got me thinking about how much I really missed her. I mean I know I was used as a rebound even though I pretty much let someone in when I never do that only to know she gets another bf that not me and it pretty much left me heart broken but…. Idk, I use to be around her everything felt worth while? I guess you could say. And in the dream she was not even kissing me or anything we were just sitting down talking with my sister and bro like we were just friends. I’m not sure what I want, either to be her friend or bf but I do really miss her and maybe the dream is saying its ok to be friends with her again. Hmm idk but I do miss spending time with the only girl that had made my heart beat faster then the freakin speed of light no mater how many times I was with her. And the only person who made me want to think that I was worth something. The girl who shut my brain shut down so that I could not even conjure up a complete sentence all the time because of how beautiful she was, then she could just know what I was feeling. The only girl that made me not care about being at home and dealing with all this crap and just waiting to see her the next day. I miss that.
Haha yea… I just got deep D:< anyways yea I just wanted to remember this moment because I have been really dealing with a lot and pretty much givin up on the whole concept of love completely due to, well no one is worth it. And I have just been trying to find myself or.. re find myself so yea. I just wanting to like let myself know that I did feel really good about this once and I was real.
On that note I will be leaving, I think I got homework and chiz and I wish I was going to the fair tomorrow to see concert but I have no money and we a broke right now so I will be missing out.. D:
Oh and who seen the VMA’s ? I did not get to cause I have no cable D:<

Question: who was that one person who made you feel really alive?


9-15-10

Today marks the day where I do not want to get up for school… yea enough said on that hah aim already having a hard time getting up and its just annoying right now cause im hella tired and I for the first time this year have fallen asleep in class D:< lol, it was in English too… 
So anyways I got a lot of hw and that is really all I have to say. Nikki is trying to switch out of Spanish and that’s going to leave me alone at lunch D: but yea… I got nothing soooo bye for now.

Question: Do you like English class?