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I really wish I was in a dorm or something. Its Friday night and people are heading out to parties, and doing things...I wish I could do something. Rather I wish I could be more forward with people. I'm to nervous to talk to the guy I kinda like (my mind runs a mile a minute) I really haven't been clicking with these new people in school like I did with my friend Kimaya ( heart ) I'm already a hesitant person and it feels/seems like everyone is older than me. I mean like 60% of the people in my classes are there for their children.

Isn't there anyone just fresh from high school? Someone who at least looks around my age? And s**t even if I did find some friends, none of them seem to know anime.
I mean I would love to talk to people about it or see what they know and s**t. lol Kimaya even brought it up about her school and I made it my status on facebook

Kimaya-"They have like a Anime Club down here"
Me- "Stab me in the heart"
Kimaya-"No its like 4 hours long *lists anime I know about that they talk about*"
Me- "AGAIN stab me in the heart why don't you"

-sigh- when was the last time I went to a party that wasn't someones sweet 16, or for an event? A party for the sake of a party?
Kimaya said she'd call back, and truly I didn't really expect her to. (When you read this Kimaya lol it's ok, it was nice to hear from you and know that u were safe)

My old friend Rachel just 'stabbed me with a spoon" deliberately by adding that the Anime club at her school bring pocky at their meetings. I mean like OW? I cried when Anime Club was cancelled in HS, I thought she knew that, but then to say THAT? I really mean it it was like a stab in the heart...I feel really sad or down now.

Uhh I must be nearing my rag as Kimaya would put it lol cuz I'm actually tearing up a lot. I can't have Heather over my house cuz shes dating mah bro and my mother disapproves. So she asked me to not invite her over, Krysa and Jasmine who are going to my school don't bother to try to talk to me because of our class schedule's. All I seem to be doing now a days is clean, go online, and walk the dog.... I know I'm not THAT social of a person but still...

I miss my having company
I miss my friends ;_;

*10 min later*
Ok the tears are stopping now, and I feel a bit better now that my nose isn't stuffed up lol...but really I do miss my friends