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Wacky Ramblings
Crystal Eyes & Weeping Willows
So...here's a story I wrote...
It isn't about me, so don't worry! =)
Anyway... here goes!

-Crystal Tears & Weeping Willows

Bianca lay under the twinkling stars, imagining each one was a crystallized tear from every girl who had ever fallen in love. It made sense to her. So many girls fall in love, and at one point in time, they’re bound to cry about it. And, the girls cry so many tears, she thought, one was bound to go and freeze in the sky. How? Maybe it was each time a girl, who was in love, fell asleep crying, one of her tears crystallized on her cheek. Then, fairies came and collected them, and spread them around the night sky? They twinkled bright enough, and maybe that explains why couples in love seemed so drawn to the night, especially the night sky. Or why heart broken girls imagine the night sky and find it so beautiful.
These are the kinds of things Bianca thinks about when she goes outside to think. Truthfully, she comes up with a lot of theories like these, but she doesn’t tell many people about them, because she’s afraid of what people will think. Everyone already thinks she’s a stuck up rich girl before they’ve even met her. With a name like Bianca Oleson, and her bright blond hair that was always exquisitely brushed, her immaculate clothes (her mother would have her head for a stain or a wrinkle), her glistening blue eyes, feminine frame and gentle, heart-shaped face, you would assume she was rich too, wouldn’t you? The fact that her parents are genuinely rich doesn’t even come into play. It’s just not a well known fact. She really shouldn’t care. But she does.
Anyway, there was someone she knew would never judge her, or stay with her just because she was rich. And that was her Garrett. Garrett black.
He had jet black hair the fell to just above his neck, and smooth, tan, skin. He had dark eyes and a glistening smile. He never judged her, and he seemed to love her purely for her, and who she is, not what she has. Every time they saw each other they ran and embraced each other like they hadn’t seen one another in a month.
She realized, it seemed like he always looked at her that way, too. Like he was laying his eyes on her for the first time in a long time. He soaked up her appearance, and he touched her hair. He brushed his thumb over her cheek and smiled into her eyes.
He made her feel like she was something to be treasured when she felt completely worthless. He made her feel like she could say anything and not sound completely out of her mind. He made her feel capable of everything. But most of all, he made her feel loved. And that was all she had ever wanted.
When she lay out in the grass, thinking, coming up with her silly theories and day-dreaming, she was peaceful. She was quiet; pensive. Sometimes she came out to worry, or to try to work something out, but that wasn’t ever quite as often.
Usually, when she went out to think, she brought her iPod. She’d listen to music appropriate to her thoughts. She also brought a journal out and wrote a poem conveying her current thoughts or feelings. Her second journal was already half full.
She was wondering now why she always felt so worthless. You’d think she would have self-confidence, or at lease value herself a little. But she doesn’t.
Of course, she knows there are some things she can do well, and some she can’t. For instance, she knew she had talent in writing. But she also knew she couldn’t carry a tune. She knew she could draw well, but couldn’t dance. She was pessimistic in that she always found something bad that would put a damper on the good. It was as if she searched for sadness when she was happy, because she knew it was there. Maybe she’d rather be sad than be happy and have the sadness come out and surprise her. But maybe not…
Garrett was just the thing for her. The everlasting optimist, he made her happy all the time. Sometimes, out of the blue, he would text her, “I love you, beautiful.” Or other random, beautiful compliments. He sometimes just told her how she looked to him in detail, because it made her happy. He’d talk about how wonderful she was to him.
He helped her more than he would ever know. She didn’t even want to think about where she would be without him. Bianca knew it would be horrible, frightening, even. But to what extent? She didn’t know and didn’t want to find out.
What if a Weeping Willow Tree was born because a girl needed to cry and didn’t have any place where she could go cry alone? Obviously that tree that had been born for that girl couldn’t be used for her, but it’d serve future girls…Maybe then a girl who needed to cry would just know where one was, and she could go? Just go…Then she would sit at the bottom of the trunk, curled up, crying beneath the billowing branches and boughs, slivers of the night sky and stars peeking through in-between the branches. The tree’s long droopy leaves would hang down and caress her in the breeze…
Bianca wished she had her own weeping willow. She sat up and looked around her back yard. The pool was casting shimmery blue reflections onto the side of her house. Her bedroom light was off. Her older brother was out tonight, and her sister was asleep. Bianca decided she’d go back to her room.
What if you could see how other people see you by looking into a waterfall?
When Bianca entered her room, she realized that her iPod was still playing. She hadn’t noticed. “Snuff” by Slipknot was playing. She turned it off before she sat down to write her poem. She usually wrote the first thing that came to her head, which this time was, “Love is just a camouflage”. She considered starting over because it was part of a song, but instead she just kept writing.
What if a rose bloomed every time a girl admitted to herself that she was beautiful?
Sometimes Bianca’s theories would turn dark, and she’d sadden. In those cases, she’d call the other of the two people she told her thoughts to. And that was Annabelle.
Annabelle, who Bianca also called Bella, or Bells, was her best friend. Bianca loved her and cared deeply for her. They had only been friends for two years, but they were practically inseparable. They weren’t completely alike, but they also weren’t completely different.
What if every time a girl was abused, someone, somewhere, died from the pain that girl felt?
What if every time a girl’s heart was broken, someone, maybe her, maybe a stranger, committed suicide?
What if every time a girl stood up for herself, a star went out? What would happen then?
Bianca considered calling Bella before things got worse. For some reason, her gut told her not to. Maybe calling Bella these times bothered her…Or maybe they made Bella sad, too…
Bianca hadn’t thought about it. Now Bianca was trying to think of everyone she could be upsetting…
How she came up with “everyone” no one knows.
What if every time a girl cut herself, a woman had a miscarriage?
The only things Garrett knows is that he can’t let on that he saw the scars on her arms. He just has to find a way to do something about it…before it gets worse.

What if every time a girl admitted that she loved a boy, she died a little bit inside?

-Fin





 
 
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