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I've always wondered how some people live their lives peacefully, even with the overwhelming stress they have to face. I know my stress isn't nearly as overwhelming as most, but I feel overwhelmed anyway. How can people deal with it without taking out their anger on some innocent people or without crying uncontrollably, like I sometimes do? I don't really know. Maybe I'm just tired. I haven't been sleeping well lately. Or it mgiht be because I procrastinate WAYYY too much.

Oh, well. Right now, I feel quite relaxed, to be honest. I feel in control, so to speak. I think that's because I made the decision on my own to stay up through the night and I so I did it. I feel like there are no problems ahead of me. This night has given me some time to clear my mind and straighten out some things in my head.

Like, when I'm going to finish my summer work. How. With whom, if with anyone at all. Check - that's covered. I stressed about that for a while, until I finally got through to myself saying that the work is only graded for completion, not for accuracy. So I don't have to spend forever on it. Thank God!

Then there's money for college. Well, my cousin went to college with $6000 or more, not including what her parents paid for the actual tuition and board and stuff. My parents are gonna pay for my tuition too. But I don't think I'll be heading to college with $6000. Not even with a summer and fall job.

There's also my driver's license thing. I mean, I'm old enough to drive and all. To get a permit, that is. But I'm just too scared to drive. And there seems to be this ongoing pressure about me to get my license. Well,I've finally come to terms with the fact that it is neccessary for me to get my permit, so I can learn, but I don't need to rush to get my license.

There are many other things as well, but i can't list them all can I? Tennis tryouts, ten 16th birthdays in one month to plan presents for, boys I like but who confide in me every detail of their serious relationship with another girl (at least I'm trusted, I guess? o.o), blah blah blah...

Stupid things really. But it's life, all the same. My life, that is.


~DoMiKaT