Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"I won't let you fall apart"
The words echoed in my head
Etched into my withered heart
I wasn't quite sure which was setting in faster
The alcohol, or the ambien
Though, they say that you shouldn't drink with ambien
Makes you crazy...
Makes you crazy
I'm covered in streams of
Crackling
Flaking
Rotting
Crimson bits of metallic gore
A heavy, slightly rusting chain rests upon my collar
Right underneath where I peeled the skin off my neck
Just to see how I'm still breathing
How am I still breathing?
I took the bus for miles,
They all stared at me
Wild eyed, hair clotted with blood and
Matted to my face with sweat
I did my research
Where could I find the closest cliffs?
When could I expect the next storm?
I would not fail this time
My aim: over kill
I stood barefoot on the cliff
Wearing something typical of a classic suicide
A white dress
A symbol of innocence
Something I never really had
Smeared with dirt and blood
And there, barefoot on that cold cliff as the storm stirred around me
I screamed
I cursed life for what it had done to me
For what I had done to myself
I shook my fists and I kicked and yelled
So tired of being broken
Being used
"I am finished!" I scream
"I gladly trade this hell for another!"
It is time to see if this angel can fly
I push off of the cliff arms out so I can embrace my coming death
Dizzy from the drugs and ready
Blinding light came and struck through my body
My eyes lit up
The metal chain around my neck grew hot
I fell to the water
It was forever and no time at all
I closed my eyes
"Finally I can be at peace"
And darkness fell