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See there was Ashley,
She caught my eyes the very second that she past me
I kissed her once then she started to harass me
She called all night long
I had to buy her a brand new phone and let me see
There was Melanie,
To have a mouth like that should be a felony
Wouldn't believe half the s**t that she was tellin me
I mean dirty vocab. She used to talk like she was drunk
And after that there was Tiffany,
The one with the cute cousin
Are you kiddin me?
She had a man but that didn't mean s**t to me
He tried to catch us all the time but I was just too God Damn smooth
And can't forget to mention Kerry
But the situation quickly got scary
Cuz after 2 dates she's like “let's get married”
Can you believe that s**t? I had to pack my bags and move!

1-2-3-4

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Where is your boy tonight?
Maybe he won't find out (x2)

I'll always remember Monica
The Jewish chick she'd always get me gifts for Hanukkah
To me the folks who tried to make me rock the yamakah
But she looked so damn good she almost made my a** convert
And after that there was Lisa
You know she had the twin sister Teresa
I bought the - getting pizza
The greatest night of my life said the rock that killed two birds.
Remember Erica she had the stank-en-est breath in North America
I know!
I Tried to slip her Tic-Tacs but they were scared of her
And when we made out I always had to plug my nose
And I suppose you know ya sista
Chill! I swear my hand to God I only kissed her
Got a foot fetish but she got a lot of blisters
I mean hammer time beat you'd think she had that bug for toes

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Where is your boy tonight?
Maybe he won't find out (x2)

Remember Katherine
She talked so much I used to make her bring me aspirin
Blah blah blah I'm doing fine thanks for askin
I even tried to make a muzzle but her mouth just would not quit
And oh s**t, remember Shawna?
I hate to bring her up again I didn't wanna
The girl I talked about when I did the dog song
Yea the poster girl for
Made me loose my grip
And oh s**t and there was Crystal
The meth head she used to sniff like a fist full
One time she chased me down the street with a pistol
She tried to say I took her stash she bugged out and tried to kill my a**
And at last we got Kimmy
She went abroad came back and broke up with me
And so I ripped up all the letters that she sent me
I cried for like 3 days and it was back to my evil ways

Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Where is your boy tonight?
Maybe he won't find out (x2)