It seemed that there was a trick page where this one and the one behind it was glued together with a sort of sap, but it could probably be deactivated with a touch of human energy as the other anti-Hiei page could be decoded that way.
Inside the trick page, it detailed in chronological order everything done to him during those eight hours, in graphic detail, all the surrounding props that might have been used, every hindsight, and every word said crammed in to tiny handwriting with a remark that 'If I do force myself to forget, I'm too curious to leave a trick page shut and will be compelled to read it.'
The torture itself seemed particularly geared towards him, pointing out his every flaw, making him see that he wasn't an aid to the team at all. Just a distraction. Everything he'd always thought about in the back of his mind. That he wasn't good enough for the team, it's weakest member, and he only brought them bad luck, seeing where everything was going but being so vague about it he was practically betraying them every time he opened his mouth. This was backed up by extreme, but very impersonal pain since actually touching him would be appreciated, and had de-aged him until he was literally about three years old, back to the incredibly impressionable fox kit then re-grown throughout his life in Ki-bonds in those eight hours so that his entire psyche was affected and the words said there built up his entire mental course, changing him to fit the torture as well. None of Karasu's powers were used at that point, but he hinted towards Kurama's fake father several times so that when he saw them, it would bring him right back down to the same level again. Normally he was incredible with mind games, but when Karasu was able to pull him back in age, all of that experience and carefully built mental defense were bypassed. After the battle he sat down and sorted out his mind, using information from Youko's mind to undo some of the damage, but it was as much a work in progress as his arm with nerves that would not line up. The page ended with, "I suppose I ought to be flattered... that he would spend so much time ruining me before we ever meet in the ring. Most of all though, I was furious and decided before I even left the room that if I died in the ring, I was taking him down with me because he'd do it again, and no one deserves this."
There was a pad of paper slipped in as well, just behind the trick page detailing the fights or... what he thought he could learn from them.
Rokuyukai team - Against Roto... Did pretty well actually, my bases were covered. Yusuke even woke up on time. Nice to know his hard-headedness is as much an asset as I thought.
Doctor Ichigaki's team - Did well, should have gotten there earlier to support Yusuke, Kuwabara and Genkai. From now on, arrive at the stadium an hour early.
Team Masho - Gama- Don't stall the bloody ninjas you idiot. Should have tasted the make-up right off the bat to detect poison or blood bond. Could have summoned a blood leeching plant that would eat the make-up if I'd know. Boy does it hurt too. My soul was in limbo again and I had to fight through it. Get in trouble with spirit world more and figure out a way around it. Touya, should have used the death plant sword sooner. Should have brought up Jin while stalling, he seems passionate about his team mates. I hope he gets some time in the light though... he could really benefit from it. Bakken... generally try to go in to fights while conscious. Train yourself to... you know, fall down when you're asleep next time. Then again it helped Yusuke get angry, so it might have helped.
Team Uratogi - Interrupt and say no rolling of dice. They were obviously weighted. Stop being so bloody compassionate and just get back to cold hearted for the fights. Don't sympathize, don't empathize, don't try to help people just do your job. You aren't the leader any more, it isn't your call to make. Talk to Genkai about teaching Yusuke the spirit reflection technique, it looks handy and could help him a lot if he runs himself dry.
Team Togoro (written shakily)- Be more aggressive. Ruin Karasu before he ruins you and you wouldn't have these problems. Start undoing your opponent before you meet them. Modify Youko's mind to be a little less cocky, go for the quick kill faster. Don't give him time for the fuse to go down, just kill him now. Get up faster! Test the potions for consumption patterns before you take them next time. Use a Kojigi instead of the regular Ojigi plant next time, it's faster and would have caught him easier without my movement. Make sure the potion doesn't leave your legs paralyzed before you take it because they've been cut off too many times. Keep the fog up a little bit longer, it confused him. Jump more, run less, he has a harder time hitting the airborne. Grab on to the blood sucking plant so that you're considered off the stadium so you won't loose. Don't let him mess with your head. Keep the antidote for the fruit of past life handy as well in case of over-exposure. Come up with simpler mind transitions so you have better control over them. According to Karasu the only thing I should learn is to take better care of my hair. Boy and if I'd never seen a hair fetish I'd recognize it in him. If it wasn't the only thing making him stay careful with me and avoid my face I would have shaved it off. Lucky me though, it's just too pretty for him to hurt. Too bad I didn't have a particularly gorgeous kidney... He never even figured out which lock of hair to tug on. A real relief because letting him have that particular advantage would be extremely demoralizing.
Also- remind Kuwabara not to yell out his attacks unless he's trying to draw attention to them. That was mildly embarrassing. I feel sorry for poor Koto. Asking Bakken to stop hitting me was probably part of the reason she was pulled out of referee duty. I think I met her once... hard to keep track. She seemed more like a regular fox demon than a full on kitsune though, probably half blood with a cat by her personality... huh. I'll have to look it up later. Puu seems to be almost as attached to me as he is to Keiko, coming to me when she isn't available. That thought is certainly a comfort... I'm not sure just yet if I should tell Yusuke that he has demon blood. The avatism of the mozaku is difficult to explain... probably not. It's the sort of thing that's more powerful as a surprise and the stronger he gets as a human, the exponentially stronger he gets as a demon. Don't want to rush him in to stasis for power.
August 2nd
(The handwriting is neat and orderly, but occasionally jerked in random directions.)
I'm pretending to do my homework, stuck in a little cabin. Close to Yusuke, close to temptation, pretending not to notice and in constant pain. I really want to cut this arm off, but Yusuke was very kind and held it still, so most of the nerves kind of line up. Not enough to work properly all the time, but enough that I can feel mind-bending agony all through my arm now. Yusuke attempted suicide, as I'd predicted, but decided to use a different method. My almanac just doesn't want to work on him. I feigned surprised, but... well, during his training I saw some signs in the... few hours I watched, and did some research. I updated the results and his power is going to plateu a little differently than first anticipated. Particularly once he finds the rest of his family. Unfortunately as much as I wanted to blast my way through his walls in a righteous fury, Koenma found out and said no killing humans or hurting them or revealing myself to them so I'd have to kill them, or being underhanded about it, or getting someone else to kill them. If I wrote it down then there was a chance Hiei would kill them, and he'd end up breaking parole as well as me because I'm supposed to keep an eye on him and keep him from killing. I have the beginnings of an idea though. Yusuke was on to something. The only way to escape his situation would be death. So reasonably, if we showed up with his dead body at his mother's house, after an autopsy and cremation he would no longer be bound to her. Now replace his dead body with one grown my me, and we've got ourselves an out. I can talk the beautiful whatshisface in to changing Yusuke's appearance however he wants, he can move out of town where he'll be safe, I can forge his documents, and he'll be safe. Clean. Free to start again. The only issue is the actual making of the body. I'd have to match his energy, his exact DNA, every little scar he has... I know what wounds he had because he let me heal him, but while I've imagined plenty, there are some parts I'm not so sure about. Oh, plus I'll have to raid the nearest town to get enough energy to make it in the week we're here. However, at least this would be worth it. I wish my energy suppliers were here though, awkward as it would make this vacation. Talk about awkward, I'm going to be locked away in my room for a few days working on a dead Yusuke plant before I turn it in to an animal cell by default corpse, probably exhausting myself in to unconciousness a few times. That could be really bad as well, but... his freedom is worth it. I'm pretty sure love is winning out now, and as much as I hate him for being so close and so far without being in two places at once, it seems inconsiquential now. I can be happy with his happiness. I need to at least get half-way done with the dopleganger before I tell Yusuke though, otherwise he will say 'oh no! It's too much work, don't do it!' but if it's already mostly done, he'll be more likely to accept it. I know I can't get it all the way done, I'd be too exhausted and he's too observant for that.
Had some inarizushi, turns out Yusuke can make it. The love meter has gone up considerably, and that is saying something. I have a feeling I may have gotten cuddles based on the warm fuzziness, and I really wish I had been concious to enjoy it. I'm also not sure who they came from. Probably Yusuke, as he was the maker of the sushi... at least I can blame it on that rather than the already existing urge to hug him.
August 3rd
Apparently it was crossdressing day, Yusuke continues to frustrate, infuriate and captivate me, Hiei continues to be far too amused by this and I think he's plotting a way to get us together. Hiei, if you figure out a way that will actaully work where we can stay together with him not miserable... go for it. Sure I've had friends, but... a lover who will actually stay with me when he knows what and who I am? Yusuke is capable of breaking through a lot of my past laws of the universe, but this one has reared it's head for every single kitsune out there. If it works I'll probably end up killed out of jealousy. Ah, but I'd die happy. Speaking of which, Yusuke brushed out and did up my hair. It was like heaven. Inarizushi filled fluffy cuddles heaven, only without the contact, I wasn't allowed to moan and jump him like I wanted to, had to concentrate on keeping a straight face, and not do anything inappropriate to him. It was like being inside by a warm fire and a cup off hot cocoa, watching snow outside the window, but you aren't allowed to tell the naked demon lord to stop dancing around you and dumping glasses of cold water on your head. Puu came by, apparently giving up on Keiko and stayed with me for a while. He's far too cute for his own good. He'd going to grow up to be quite the lovely pheonix some day too. I left him with Yusuke though, it wouldn't be a good idea to let him watch me at work. Poor little guy is too compassionate and would call Yusuke in prematurely. I'm so glad Yusuke's suicide attempt didn't work. It wouldn't have killed him, just brought up the Mazoku (which would make him spirit world's #1 on the hit list, so I guess still sort of killing him if he didn't resist) and killed Puu.
August 4th
(The writing was smeared slightly and it seemed he'd face planted in to the book a few times while writing it, his hand writing degenerating and getting weaker until it was a loose collection of makai symbols.)
I think they're on to me. I can practically feel Kuwabara's worry, and Hiei has something to tell me that he won't because I'm being an idiot. I'm just about run dry... don't think I can use my powers any more without a doner, and I'm too weak to get to town. Why did I set myself up for this? If you didn't automatically answer 'because you're a masochist' then you haven't been paying attention. I'll generate a little bit of life energy on my own though, give it a day and I could get to town, but there's some stupid group bonding thing today. I hope it isn't physically demanding, I'm just ablue ehnf.... (There was a large ink spot through the next few pages where he'd slipped unconcious and forgotten to take the pen off the paper.)
Bah, stupid ink blots. I'll be giving myself rorshack tests for a year. Right now it looks like... a blurry splot. Going to see what the activity is though, I'm seriously tempted to ask Hiei to let me sample his dragon. Yes, this time in the fun way. He'd understand impersonal power giving, he doesn't use this brand of energy, and Yusuke... isn't an option. It's too close to a forbidden zone, there would be no recovery from falling now. Kuwabara... is irrecovably straight, loves Yukina with an obsessive passion that surprisingly isn't creepy (why can't I pull that off?) and there are hundre_______ (The line continued off the page as he apparently fell asleep again.) Hundreds of other reasons I can't be bothered to list right now. If all else fails I have a slice of the fruit of past life I can use, though becoming more powerful than my team would be a very bad idea right now. Still, if I have to I'll use it. Alright, bondage time. Mmm... alright, head's in the game, lets pull ourselves together and do this.
No really, this time I'm going to get up.
Alright, third times a charm.
Fourth is unlucky, going back to sleep.
Alright, I'm up, Kuwabara's about to knock on the door.
((Note, according to the anime and manga, Hiei is anywhere from 7-250 years old. I think he's about 80 something, as every 100 years every ice maiden has a child which Yukina has not, and She was captured 7 years ago by Tarukone. Kurama is over 3000 years old, but in case you missed the memo, the box and the fruit pulled him back too far even for Youko, all the way to 300 years old thus, the narattive. This is because 'one thousand years ago, I sent an assasin after Yomi' and sending assasins after subordinates before he was born is a bit of a stretch, even for Youko. However, since you wanted him to be closer to a few hundred years old, I'm guessing that he gave up some agelessness to fuse with Shuichi so while Youko's brain pattern has the full 3k years of experience behind it and all of the twists and turns with it, Shuichi's only holds 15 years, and the fusion of the two is 200. (3k divided by 15) So in reality, as he ages as a human, he will grow less intelligent, but as soon as Youko returns for good Kurama carry overs can be applied, so he would be back up to 3k years old but not so cold and ruthless. This means he was a 3000 year old in a 1 year olds body, then a 1500 in a 2 year old, etc. if he were ever to get to 80, his brain would be 37 years old. Raizen is closer to 5k years old though, and became Yusuke's ancestor about 3000k years ago, so Kurama would be Yusuke's age if he'd been born right away rather than through the generations. The anime says he's about 3000 years old indirectly, or at least... that's how long he's been powerful, and he stopped eating humans for closer to 1000 years, but that's only with a whole lot of training and since for a long time he was simply a balancer, I think he's closer to 5k, maybe even 7. Kuronue was apparently about 532 when he died according to online information sites, but 500 years of having the same friend... no wonder he'd Youko's best frind. If you want him alive, he could have flown the coop and gone in to hiding from spirit world, and since he and Youko were on even footing as far as power goes, he's probably the same age. He didn't seem as driven though, so he'd probably enjoy life a little more, not know quite as much and not be nearly so obsessive. Or as I am for looking all this up.))
There was some poetry in the back that he had apparently written in secret, as they had no dates and Hiei didn't recognize them, but they were in different pens, so probably written at different times. They were not titled, just given a vague subject.
Hiei
How is it that this lost, forbidden child
Has found himself at youko's last remains?
He's angry and his eyes say that he's wild
But he wants someone else at the reigns.
I'm far from any kind maternal soul
He really ought to find a kinder mind
There's little I can do to console
This jigan patient still so close to blind.
And yet I dare not send him out again
Not when he's so weakened and so young
I guess perhaps I am a mother hen
And now his lonely trap has been sprug.
A fox caught sitting in a hen's nest
Without the eggs and feathers in his teeth
I have no idea how he ever guessed
Which feathered friend I'm hiding underneath.
Has human life wrought havoc on my plans?
Stupid question, yes, of course it has.
My life has never been in my own hands
I'm not the fox this child knows me as.
Prison
How I love to be in prison,
Fear in every face
For I'm the flora-fel-de-so
A creepy mental case.
So easy just to saunter by
and harder not to smile
people know that I'm top dog
Minds easy to beguile.
All of them are stuck here
I've thrown their balance off
And how I love averted eyes,
the sudden awkward coughs.
Affection here is easy gotten
nod you're head and wink
They need touch as much as me
Well, almost... so they think.
So I provide some comfort,
while reaping in my own
draping them in tapestry
of fate, which I have sewn.
And when they hear I've flown the coupe,
Will they really care?
I don't know, probably not.
That's their own affair.
I've gotten what I came for,
and comfort here to boot
To think I'm in my favorite place
when I am caught with loot.
Yet all good things must come to pass
But I'll be back again
After all, I can't resist
This barred up iron den.
Shiori
I've saved her one too many times
And yet five times too few.
I have caused her deadly illness
It's far from any flu
Spirit world is after her,
But she's not ready yet.
I would know, I'm her son
Or, close as I can get.
She loved me longer than she should
So I'll protect her longer
Every day her health is challenged
My will will grow stronger.
I don't have to accept this,
I've played with fate before.
so even if I give my life...
an idea which I ahbor
If it will work it's worth it,
and if it won't... I tried.
But win or loose, the the side I choose
is still mine to decide.
Heist
The siren blares
For here we stand
A fanfare to my ears
All my prayers
Are in my hand
Ill-gotten souveniers.
My mother's health
and Hiei's force
So easily we find
To gather wealth
Dispel remorse
And leave ourselves behind.
So different from
the petty theft
I'd used to fill the void
And to succumb
to all that's left
of Youko... near destroyed.
So little life
Is left within
This hollow human shell.
My mother's strife
This fragile skin
It's time to say farewell.
Yusuke
A temporal insanity,
That must be the cause
A marking of humanity
One of my new flaws.
I felt as though I loved you
before I saw your face
Before I even knew you
I was craving your embrace.
The scent is all it took for me
Sounds creepy, yes I know.
I told you, it's insanity
before we said hello.
Then I saw it's you I smelled
Not one I can pursue.
I just wanted to be held,
But no, you're a taboo.
Besides, I'm just about to die.
no time for a romance
You'd say hello, and then goodbye...
and we don't have a chance
I set out first to kill you
before I met my fate
But now I couldn't hurt you,
A love that's spawning hate.
How dare you make me want to stay
Your reason's overdue
So now I'll leave this fickle world
having never loved you.
More Yusuke
You love me back
and yet we can't.
hard to turn down
a love so scant
Run out of hopeful
seeds to plant.
No loving words
meant to enchant
I've no words left
nor rhymes to rant
(The end of the last t drifted off the page as apparently he was quite exhausted and fell asleep before he ever finished the poem.)
More Yusuke
You're gone now, off in training.
Got curious I guess.
Thought I'd do some research
on the subject of your stress
Your past is so ridiculous,
a wonder you survived
I've seen the tortures oft before
their cruelty was contrived.
Some things I even did myself,
or to myself some times.
But piled on to one small child?
All these hateful crimes?
I knew that you'd be hurt
I knew before you did...
but all of that intensity
forced on to a kid...
How are humans just as cruel
no... cruler than my kind?
Aren't demon hearts the worst of hearts
that you could ever find?
Yet we would never do this,
not to any soul.
And how I would reek vengance
if I wasn't on parole.
These humans need to die and yet
I think you wouldn't do it
Whenever you feel anger,
then you seek to subdue it.
It's ok to hurt and bleed,
get angry! Yes, you can.
These walls around your feelings
How far and wide they span
You know if someone wrongs you
It's okay to wrong them back
If someone else is charging,
then you do need to attack.
I know that I'm next to nothing,
my words just mostly chatter
but stop your senseless street fights,
and fight the ones that matter
More Yusuke
Yet another song for you,
you never leave my head
I've hidden my obsession,
Sort of... so not in what I've said...
but you don't know, so yes, that counts.
I've kept the secret well.
Except that everyone else knows
They simply must impel...
You've turned me from a cunning theif
In to a lovestruck girl
then dropped me with out knowing.
The rose left for the pearl.
I guess that if you love her,
You should choose her, not me.
Ha, even if you dump her
I still wouldn't be free.
Yes, I guess I'm bitter
with my first requited love.
That you will always choose her
when push comes to shove.
I hate you, yet I love you,
yet that hurts me even more.
When you smell like perfume,
It's quite hard to ignore.
Why is it you make me cry?
I shouldn't even care...
I'm so used to rejection,
yet you drive me to despair.
So please stop haunting all my thoughts
If you have no intent
I never thought a lovely face
could be such a torment.
Yet there you are, in my minds eye
Enigma through and through
I know so the facts and all I can,
yet you leave me no clue.
I never can predict you,
guess that's what pulls me in
And if I could augur you
I could find a way to win.
Even More Yusuke
You and Keiko parted ways,
Ejected from your start-struck daze
Emerging now from blinding haze
Yet I can't come to you.
You said goodbye, you said farewell,
You're no longer under her spell
No if or and is left to tell
Yet I can't come to you.
I've loved you since before we met
Back when I was just a threat
I wasn't even in your debt
Why can't I come to you?
You loved me back, I'm sure of it
It's always love that you emitt,
The path is cleared, the way is lit
Why can't I come to you?
The other reasons all aside
It's up to you, you can decide
To face the facts or run and hide
I still can't come to you.
I can't bring forth the thoughts concealed
So little of myself revealed...
I aways feel the need to yeild
I still can't come to you.
Well maybe if you read this book
No don't! Well maybe... you can look...
And don't think me a heartless crook...
Then I can come to you.
I really shouldn't fear rejection
You choose where to give affection
and if I'm not in that selection...
I'm scared to come to you.
Will you push me far away?
If you do I guess I'll stay...
Your will is one that I'd obey
I wouldn't come to you.
But if you find it in your heart
To love a love less sweet than tart
Then maybe... maybe we can start
Then I could be with you.
You shouldn't read this... should you? No.
I'm weak, but I can let you know
I should have more... a month ago
Still scared to come to you.
I'll find a moment opportune
to let you know... but not too soon!
A year from now, like March or June...
I'd be a fool to come to you.
You're still rebounding, still recoiled
Not the time to be embroiled
I'll have to wait or we'll be spoiled...
How I want to come to you.
But patience is my only virtue
At least I'll never try to hurt you
Some day, something will alert you...
I hope I come to you.
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Funny little things
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