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ASK YOURSELF in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple "I must," then build your life in accordance with this necessity..." - Rainer Maria Rilke
On the eve of my rebirth
Well, I blew up at mom and told her I wasn't going to end up like her who was a slave to everyone around her, that I wasn't going to let people step on me all my life. This was because driving Jenny has become an order, not a favor. I get screamed at, I have to wait ON HER because the icky scary bus is too frightening and she needs to be dropped at the front entrance like a little princess. God, it's annoying. Every time she says it's "her car" I want to backhand her. "Her car." Really. She doesn't have a permit, has never payed for gas. She promised to share-pay with me until I pointed out she was broke, then she started firing insults again.

When she screamed, "She better not be leaving!" when I was going to warm up the car, I got inside, turned it on, and left. I won't be her b***h. I won't do that to myself. I mean it -- I'm tired of feeling shitty after trying to indulge someone else. It's the most consuming, sickening feeling and I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT.

Was expecting an even bigger fallout after school, so I went and got a Java Chip before I would have to surrender the car. But mom was actually really calm about it.

I'm not going to drive tomorrow, anyway, since senior Psych kid who parks next to me told me that they're going to start towing at the Annex tomorrow if I don't get a pass. He opened my door when I was buckling and I screamed. >_> Jake better give me his ******** ticket thing or I'm boycotting our story collaboration. talk2hand

What's this about a party in Dorogi's room that Prez invited me to? Is it just my old Euro class I transferred out of? Because if it is, I'll just make up some shitty excuse and bail.

Went to the gym. But since I got two hours of sleep after reading some Right Stuff, I was so tired...I'm still so tired...

Two hours until seventeen. I wish to be seventeen. It has a seven in it. A good number. I have high hopes. I like how the festive spirit from Christmas/New Years carries over to my birthday, because I'm still in resolution enforcement mode.






User Comments: [3] [add]
Dexaa
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Wed Jan 06, 2010 @ 11:03pm
I can see your avatar's underboobs.
Sorry I woke you, happy birthday.
heart


commentCommented on: Thu Jan 07, 2010 @ 02:04am
DUDE, just park in jakes spot. I parked in my spot for like, a month before I remembered to switch the ticket from the rav to my car, and that was the week after they were all like "if you don't have your ticket you will be towed."
no one cares anymore.



ChristeneDaae
Community Member
bushy_haired_freak
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Jan 07, 2010 @ 03:04am
@J: Yay, underboob!

@W: I should have the pass anyway, because although I usually am very annoyingly lucky, when I get unlucky, I REALLYYYY get unlucky.


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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