Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"I'll try being nicer when you try being smarter."

"One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake."

"Lisa, vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos."

"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity."

"And with this candle...I will light your mother's dress on fire." Corpse Bride!

"I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died."

Near: "Thank you for your useful information. You may go back now."
Aizawa: "..You heard all of that and just say go back?"
Near: ..Pouting.. "And so I thanked you for your useful information..."

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they ticked me off."


"Three ribs, left arm and leg broken, bruises and sprains everywhere, and you cut your fingernails to the quick. Anyone tough as that isn't going to die."

"My fellow Americans, I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did giggittygiggydoo that girl. I gashmogied her gaflabity with my googus. And I am sorry." Quagmire from Family Guy.

"Sure, they were all going to die, but they'd go out with their middle fingers upraised in the oldest salute known to the world."

"Michael Bay gets to keep making movies and Cartman gets his own theme park; there is no God." Kyle from South Park.

"Count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street."

"It would be a million times easier to fight a demon lord with a bamboo stick, than to cross me."

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"Think you're confused? Wait until I explain it."

"Mad: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence."

Near: "Lester, could you come back one more time to the command center in New York?"
Lester: "One more time?"
Near: "I'm also going to Japan."
Lester: "So during that time you want me to come to New York and stay watch?"
Near: "No."
Lester: "Then why do you want me in New York?"
Near: "I've never experienced the first class procedures of riding a plane alone, so I want you to come back so we can go together."

"Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense."

"Some mornings it's just not worth gnawing through the straps."

"I made a mental note and now I can't remember where I put it!"


"I think, therefore I am dangerous."

Misa: "I can't imagine a world without Light!"
L: "Yes that would be quite dark."

"I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it."

"What do you mean I can't use my sexual charm?!"

"Do I preach to you while you're lying stoned in the gutter? No."

"Sometimes the facts fail to correspond to known reality."


"I came, I saw, I had no idea what was going on, I left."

Giovanni: "If there are Shinigami, I might die, right?"
Near: "Yes."
Giovanni: "..."
Near: "If you're scared I'll ask Lester to go."
Lester: "..."

"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money."

"Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain."

"All say, "How hard it is that we have to die" ,a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live."

"Fight them with what?! Jujitsu? Tae Kwon Do? The force?"

"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time."

"If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame."

"The universe is laughing behind your back."

"Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."

"It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you."

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak."

"You can thank your lucky stars that everything I wish for will never come true."

"We Americans, we're a simple people...but piss us off and we'll bomb your cities."

"Just close your eyes, forget your name, forget the world, forget the people, just close your eyes, forget your name, forget the world, now go insane."

Misa: "Light, why won't you sleep with me?"
Light: "...Why are you saying that Misa?"
Misa: "I know, after we catch Kira, right? Don't be shy, Light."
L: "Please don't be shy, Light-Kun."
Light: "I'm not being shy."
L: "Don't be serious about it either."

"I live in my own little world..but hey they know me here."

"I don't bite..unless you're into that sort of thing."

"Your mom has more friends on myspace, then TOM!"

"Anything's possible? Try slamming a revolving door."

"Warning: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus."

"Isn't it funny how simple it is for people to trash God then complain that the world is going to hell?"

"I think you should put a condom on your head, because if you're going to act like a d**k you might as well dress like one."

"I've discovered that I often visit the state of confusion and I know my way around pretty well.."

"Today, I will be happier than a bird with a french fry!"

"Oops! Your girlfriend is pregnant. Here are your choices. Ignore, Abort, Retry, Details." I just died when I read this..

"Oh please. I don't turn heads. I ******** break necks."


"Procrastination for Dummies? I'll get it later."

"L! Stop molesting the cheese!" Again from her.