hiding
Published at: 07:12 am - Tuesday December 15 2009
Today I’ll hide.
Behind the protocol,
behind my submission.
Behind the walls.
I’d hide behind sex today, if I could.
I’d spend too much time looking for sex that lasts 25 minutes but would calm my mind for days.
I’d search for the dangerous lies that I tell myself because it closes off my heart.
Sometimes it’s hard to see how this is bad for me.
It’s hard when you try to see past the fear.
When you try to live in today.
When you try to be hopeful and optimistic.
When you stop for a minute and think maybe you deserve it.
It’s harder when people challenge you.
Be afraid, little girl.
They don’t call em ‘red flags’ for nothing.
I know this.
So today I will hide.
Be silent, and quiet.
No sudden moves.
My submission is all I can offer today.
And perhaps that’s enough
to get us through till tomorrow.
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