Well, if you've actually come here then you must actually care that I'm on Gaia, here's a pre-emptive thank you for being around and always helping me out <3 It's you guys who really counted in keeping me around and lifint my spirits when this place brought me down. Much luff to you all!
I am leaving for an undetermined time, probably permanently.
I am indeed planning on taking my exit of Gaia. I don't have an actual date set, but it's pretty much going to be as soon as I complete my commissions list and expend my resources on commissioning myself. I wouldn't give it more than a few months, tops.
Why am I leaving?
This is somewhat confusing to explain, and some of you may not agree. Regardless, please don't try to dissuade me. This is my decision.
I keep trying to prove myself on Gaia, that my art is worth something. Why am I trying to prove myself to you? To people who don't even realize it or even care? It's such a ridiculous popularity contest and I am ashamed of myself for getting sucked in.
My art is not about being the best of everyone. It's about doing the best that I can do and being creative. I've been an idiot to try and compete for the masses, especially when my art isn't exactly what this place calls for.
But like all artists, I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be known. In some way we're all attention whores. But you know what? Why am I struggling for that on an online forum? Where is that going to get me as an aspiring illustrator in real life? Nowhere.
I also realized that I cannot improve as long as I keep trying to prove myself. I keep taking on all these requests that, in truth, bore me. I admit to having a very bad block I need to break. If your request bores me I won't want to do it and I certainly won't do the best that I can do on it.
What I show to Gaia is not what I am capable of.
In order to take that step to improvement of my own art, I have to leave. Right now is a crucial time in my own education and I should be spending it improving myself on things that matter to me so I put forth 150%, not on little Gaian commissions that don't mean anything to me anymore.
So my friends, I will so be exitting the building, stage right. I thank you all for your time and I love you all for taking the time to talk to me or even read this.
Tenica Community Member |
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Community Member
I hope you know that a lot of us.. ahem. myself.. feel pretty much the same way sweatdrop so dun feel like you're alone </3.
also!!!
I'm really sorry gaia didn't take more kindly to your arts :/ it erally is a shame. they suck for not real media. I'm a big fan just.. broke ;_; y'know? XD;
and you know what.. you -do- deserve so much better than gaia. I mean sheesh.. gaia's like a leech. you need to break away as well </3 *envious*
but yeah. end of Quon ramble X_x; I just hope you keep in touch some time sad