|
11/22/2009
A day like any other day. I had awoken to my mother working on painting the walls of my bedroom. I've become used to the smell of paint fumes since well...They've been working on painting this house for a long time..Everything just seems to get drawn out over time. The facebook applications had been checked and I decided to try once again to gather information. My family has this thing where they insult me if I fall behind on whats going on in life and since I keep myself detached from the world through isolation I don't keep up on it without discussion. Things got to be quite fast paced today. progress on the walls improved, My guitars are now hung up on the wall as display pieces until they can be repaired and discussions of how things will be arranged has already come to pass. One of my mothers interests brought me to do a little searching and there was a bit of sorrowful information that a search had presented. My mother is interested in our ancestry so I had searched for just about all I could think of over yahoo and google search engines aswell as even wikiing my mothers original last name. Little results towards what we desired showed but there was a bit of information that I sadly can not deny hit a sore spot. Death is one thing and death of someone that my heart is connected to is another....But the death of a child...The demise of innocence is a completely different thing. I cannot cry on the outside but ever since I had ran acrossed the information on the inside i've been mourning. "Jacob Haberzettl" A four month old child was born in november 2006 only to die in february 2007... SIDS they said was the cause and the family was so effected by the death that they even put up a memorial page for the poor child. Though he may not have been related to myself by blood it still pains me to get such news. The last time something so young had died I fought it tooth and nail to keep it alive. I refused to give up until it no longer had the strength to fight its own battle any longer... Its one thing to have experienced life and to see whats out there...But that child didn't even have enough time to say its first word...Or its first steps...Or even to truly experience love at all within its life... Its been a while since something had me this close to tears. Unfortunately I think it may be something that will push me to that point again in my life. A child that shared my grand father's name. I guess it kinda meshes two sore spots together.. May his soul find peace and that child be in a happy place at this time. sad
|
