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Ahh... I see the ****up fairy has visited us again.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't make you an artist.

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet its hard to pronounce.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

I have plenty of talent and vision- I just don't give a damn.

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Its a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

How about never? Is never good for you?

I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

You sound reasonable... time to up my medication.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

Who me? I just wander from room to room.

My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

You are so a**l retentive not even your own arse can stand you.

have you got a new hairstyle, new glasses perhaps? oh no now i see your face is lopsided and your hair and glasses are joining the old age slant.

Sorry "yawn" for a moment there you bored me to death.

When i was growing up my mum said don't let me down so i decided to boost up the side and be the b***h my mum was.

Sorry if i look interested ............. i'm not

oh s**t i just saw your brain getting picked up by the garbage collectors.

Sorry were you talking to me because i was sure the lamp post looked more interested in what you were saying.

oh you're a vegetarian so it would be ok to feed you duck, meat chicken and cow tonight? No it wouldn't? Well don't ******** come to my house for dinner then. We don't do vegans.

What that thing coming out of your head, oh oops sorry its your d**k sitting in the wrong place.

Oi ******** for brains you over there, yeh you, (holding up my phone) your village just called me they want their idiot back.