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Today I'm going to talk about breakups. Why is it the bad relationships you can't stay away from and when the good ones come around the corner you want to duck behind a bush? Okay, I guess it doesn't help that my boyfriend is living with me...like it or not. It doesn't help that he's my ride and we hang out all the time. Am I just being paranoid, or do I really feel like I'm trapped in a relationship- a good one, nonetheless? Honestly, we get no time apart and we hang out all the time, and if I'm starting to feel like it's not getting us anywhere and I feel somehow pressured to go out with him, what's the point of staying in a relationship? He's a really sweet, cute, handsome, fun guy, but I'm starting to go bonkers. I can't explain it- I can say that from past evidence, I didn't think this was a good idea to begin with. I just feel like he wants this, and I'm uncomfortable with it. When he wanted to go out, I had just gotten out of a relationship and wanted to be single for awhile. I feel like I was reluctantly pushing forward with this idea, and now everything feels all fine and dandy, but really, it's not. Even though it will be awkward, I think the breakup is the right thing to do...I just don't want it to be happily ever after just yet. I'm only 18 years old. We even feel like the same people. We think and act and get angry the same way. We do the same things. I'm not happy. In fact, I push this to the very corners of my mind until I'm away from him and it bubbles to the surface. This is not a healthy relationship, and I don't want to keep growing through the cracks where there's cement under a shady patio where someone will chop us up with a lawn mower...do you get what I'm saying?
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