I don't know why I should still remember and miss Madison after all this time. It sucks! She got over me so easy, but I can't seem to drag my heart away from her memory! Just when I think that I'm done with her, I hear a song, or see something or someone, or watch a show that reminds me of things we used to do.
As the old song says, "There is always something there to remind me".
So I was listening to a song today and I couldn't help but remember when I felt like that with her. When we were still so in love and we were together and happy. Funny, because I never knew about this song before I met her, and yet if I had, I would definitely have told her about it. I would have let her know how much it made me think of her. I miss being able to tell her about my day. Rejoicing with her excitements and letting her rejoice in mine.
The saddest thing is that my love is unrequited. If I sent her a message, she wouldn't even respond. I know. And even if she did, we'd just argue. I swear I can't decide how to feel about her! Sometimes I'm so furious because I feel so betrayed! Sometimes I'm just depressed. Sometimes I just wish I had her back. Sometimes all three at the same time, all of the emotions warring inside of me. I don't get it! I wasn't even hurt this bad with Kim, and until Madison that was the worst pain of all.
I don't know. I may never get over her without help, but the way things are going I may never have another girlfriend. I know this is pessimistic, but I'm starting to feel sorta desperate and hopeless. I can hardly even get a response from most women, and I feel like I'm sinking further and further into a depressive pit that I can't get out of alone. I'm losing my will to even try faster and faster everyday...
What can I do? If I don't get out of this soon, I wonder what will come next. I hear people talking about "Just get over it", and I can't help but look at them like they're crazy! How!? No one knows how! They just think it should happen by force of will. The problem is, my will to struggle is gone!
I don't know what to do. I find myself wishing that Madison would read this and feel sorry for me, but would I want her like that? I know I wouldn't want her with me just because she feels sorry for me. I just wish it wasn't so easy for her to get over me. I wish she was still hurting to, and I wish she was thinking of coming back to me to. Not how great life is without me...
Blah... Nothing more to say. Sick of whining....
Aslanemperor Community Member 
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