These ads were actually taken from the classifieds:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER
8 years old. Hateful little b*****d. Bites!
Otherwise cute. Needs visit with 'Dog Whisperer'
FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES
Mother, AKC German Shepherd.
Father, Super Dog..Can leap tall fences in single bound.
FOUND - DIRTY WHITE DOG.
Looks like a rat...been out awhile.
Expecting big reward for this one.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY
Must sell washer and dryer.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
And then, there was this one . . . .
FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. Excellent condition
$200 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last month. Wife knows everything.
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I kick a**
I plan to use this journal to speak my mind (which i already do). And record things that go on in my life, my writing,ect.