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Ok, this one is different, I just wanted to write/type, even if no one cares. can I ask- Why? Why, oh the question "Why," the never ending question. Why does my heart feel panged with problems that I know I only set myself up for?I know why, because I can't control myself. Why do I try to understand, when perhaps no one else understands, or i myself still dont understand? Why do I continues when I know I'm only going to make things worse? Why do I wish, when I know its so out of my control because I know I have no self control. Why do I attempt to make things better when I know its not in my abilities? Why do I try having confidence in myself when I know I really shouldn't. Why should I try thinking i'm special, even though I know there's a very good probability that there's someone who realized these things so long ago?Why do I try when I know I'm not good enough? Why do I even attempt writing this type of thing in a public place? I do not know some of these answeres, and I know that some of you that read this will probably think " Oh, this person must think shes so special by trying to make something special, although its not." Or, maybe you wont,but to be truthful, I dont care anymore, cause I try to make things better, but I know they wont unless I change, and that probably wont happen very soon, and I need to get this out somehow. I know there'll be counter attacks and stuff like that, but at least I dont want to care anymore. I wish I could control these feelings, but I know I very well cant, or at least not easily. I hope you, the reader will understand, and if you dont, just plain dont comment.Because I currently already feel terrible. So if you could do me a favor and not put me in what in comparison to many seems a little pain, it would save me alot of different things I will not say. Thank you. I hug to many pillows.( I just needed to say that outloud) bye.
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