Me, talking about Metroid Fusion
"At this point, it's safe to say, with all sarcasm 'I don't think this ADAM MALKOVICH is an important plot character/device'.
Me, on my new golfish
"I asked him what he wanted to be called, and I said 'Justin Bailey' and he stared at me, but when I said 'Adam' he seemed to like it. Ironically enough, the other three died randomly, and he's perfectly fine."
Me, on idiots
"I'm not saying we didn't evolve from apes, and I'm not saying that God didn't make us(cause he did), but I see so many people who I swear are more like some fish, you know, the ones that live on the bottoms of the oceans? They try to eat eachother, and when that doesn't work, they make babies.
Me, on Metroid Prime 2
"I swear, the Wii is talking to me. "Hello, there, Clarece, come back for more?" and then I start playing more and more Metroid."
Talking about the new movie 'Mamma Mia'
"Ohh, no way! Three potential dads? Hooker, she is. One solution..MAURY! MAURY! MAURY!"