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JP04983
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User Comments: [4] [add]
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ImaCrazyDaisy Community Member 
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Cute but Evil12
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User Comments: [4] [add]
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All I can say is that we bring s**t upon ourselves. The faster you accept everything going wrong in life is your fault, the quicker you can start fixing it.
It's easier just to realize your mistakes and start working on them. I'm the kind of person who can't stand being confused or uncertain, so I do my best to solve my problems and don't spend that much time griping about them.
Depression is a b***h. If you can't overcome it yourself, it might be time for some meds. Mine work wonders and my mind is way clearer than normal.
The most important thing is that if you decide on meds, that you do it for yourself and because you really need to - not because you want to 'fix' yourself or make your life better. Meds can only help you and you are the only one that can improve your situation.
In the end, it's all up to you kid. No one else. You're on your own from the moment you're born and you can't rely on anyone else to do important stuff for you. You gotta participate in your life.
At this time, you are probably still figuring out who you are which may explain the multiple personalities. Don't concentrate on trying to define yourself - Just know what you like and don't like, that's all you are right now. You can be anyone you want to be any time you want. You don't need a cookie cutter persona or pre-established mood. We aren't cartoon characters and we don't have the same personality all the time. The only reason anime characters are that is to make it easier for the creator to convey a message. Character Development =/= Human Development.
My advice to you is to stop trying to define yourself with words, with descriptions, with labels... It will only serve to confuse you more. Just do what you want to do and what you feel is right - Don't worry about trying to fit into a certain personality or archetype.
I suggest making a few characters that take different parts of you - but not characters that represent you. No alter egos or persona's. Honest to god real characters that share some of what your beliefs are, but not all of you. This can help you sort out who you are, and help you step into new skins and seen how it is.
Also try making characters completely opposite of who you are and who you want to be and try writing for them. I have a character just like - A rapist, a drug-addict, sex obsessed punk S.O.B that has no morals and wonders urban America freely. Writing for him let's me see how it is in someone else's shoes and I attribute alot of my calmness to being able to take out my rage using him as a catalyst. At the same time, he does represent the dark part of me that wants to try those things.
It's all very complicated.
Anyways, if you want to talk, feel free.