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I dont know who I am anymore i dont knwo why, but i keep doing these things, and I dont know why. am I mad/ insane? out of my mind? do i have multiple personalities? I find that when i do thse things,, i always change my mind in between, and i jhave no idea what im doing. my eyes are heavy, my heart is bleeding, and my mind is clouded. why is this happenening to em/ what can i do? i dont know what. but I know, that in the end, we are all alone. there is no love, there is only words, there is no truth, there are only molded lies. my life is not my own, my life is an experiment gone wrong. If i am truly an experiment, then perhaps i added in a horrible in gredient, that would spoil and rue all others. perhaps, my life ahs been poisoned by my own hand. how could this happen? i can be nice, i can be sensitive, i can be helpful, funny, happy, and a god person. but, i can also be mean, dark, evil, disgusting, mentally repulsive, murderous, conniving, scheming, uncaring, and a horrible person. but, which is the real me? will I never know? or will I forever be a mix of unstable in gredients, doomed to one day explode, ina horrible splattering of my life?

Posted by: JP04983 Thu May 07, 2009 @ 11:12pm

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Minstrelsy
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Commented on: Fri May 08, 2009 @ 12:05am


	All I can say is that we bring st upon ourselves. The faster you accept everything going wrong in life is your fault, the quicker you can start fixing it. It's easier just to realize your mistakes and start working on them. I'm the kind of person who can't stand being confused or uncertain, so I do my best to solve my problems and don't spend that much time griping about them. Depression is a b*h. If you can't overcome it yourself, it might be time for some meds. Mine work wonders and my mind is way clearer than normal. The most important thing is that if you decide on meds, that you do it for yourself and because you really need to - not because you want to 'fix' yourself or make your life better. Meds can only help you and you are the only one that can improve your situation. In the end, it's all up to you kid. No one else. You're on your own from the moment you're born and you can't rely on anyone else to do important stuff for you. You gotta participate in your life. At this time, you are probably still figuring out who you are which may explain the multiple personalities. Don't concentrate on trying to define yourself - Just know what you like and don't like, that's all you are right now. You can be anyone you want to be any time you want. You don't need a cookie cutter persona or pre-established mood. We aren't cartoon characters and we don't have the same personality all the time. The only reason anime characters are that is to make it easier for the creator to convey a message. Character Development =/= Human Development. My advice to you is to stop trying to define yourself with words, with descriptions, with labels... It will only serve to confuse you more. Just do what you want to do and what you feel is right - Don't worry about trying to fit into a certain personality or archetype. I suggest making a few characters that take different parts of you - but not characters that represent you. No alter egos or persona's. Honest to god real characters that share some of what your beliefs are, but not all of you. This can help you sort out who you are, and help you step into new skins and seen how it is. Also try making characters completely opposite of who you are and who you want to be and try writing for them. I have a character just like - A rapist, a drug-addict, sex obsessed punk S.O.B that has no morals and wonders urban America freely. Writing for him let's me see how it is in someone else's shoes and I attribute alot of my calmness to being able to take out my rage using him as a catalyst. At the same time, he does represent the dark part of me that wants to try those things. It's all very complicated. Anyways, if you want to talk, feel free.

Commented on: Fri May 08, 2009 @ 05:45pm


	Little baby doll....Don't you know we are all like this. Seriously and then one day your hormones settle down and you mellow into a little of both unless you come from an abusive family. That is an altogether different senerio. Just take some deep breaths baby and it will be okay. Besides that, sex really helps for guys your age. I love you baby. PM me soon. Emily Ann

ImaCrazyDaisy
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Cute but Evil12
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Commented on: Fri May 08, 2009 @ 11:08pm


	hey babz u are a hansom and sesitive sexy b***h and i love yah that is why i asked you out and... and i dnt know why but i think that this is all my fault that you are feeling this way not ambers just all mine because im the one who asked you out and honestly ur right i do need someone there for me yea im lonley and im just very depressed just please make a promise to me that u know that your not an experiment gone wrong ok?oxoxoxoxox

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