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So I was training with the Elementals. Working on my magick. I did well against Demona. I got distracted when fighting Serena. Then I asked to try against Etoille.
Up until that point, I had been fighting with dominant elements. Against Demona, I used water. Against Serena, I used Earth. So naturally, against Etoille, I tried to use shadow.
First off, I've never used Darkness before. Never. And I really struggled to grasp it. It kept moving so slowly, and Etoille (of course) was moving at the blink of an eye. So I finally I just wrapped my body in shadows to stop him. I don't know why I did it; it seemed like a good idea at the time. And it seemed to confuse him, at which point I brought claws of shadow from the ground and put them to his neck. He got away though and bopped me on the head. I tried twice more, and he jabbed me in the side the second time and the back the third. Now this was all well and good, because it meant I had something to work on. But I didn't notice something until later.
When I wrapped myself in shadow... it changed the color of my wings. All three of my right wings are black now. My left ones are white. And the little collection at the small of my back are all a greyish color. The white feathers shine like a rainbow. The black are like shadows. The grey are fluffy.
...
I've been trying to get the black to go away. I don't want Engel to see them. I don't want him to get mad. Loki's trying to make the black color go away, but it's not working... I don't want Engel to see... I don't want him to hate me... I don't want him to never talk to me again.