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*Sigh* Dude, seriously, these past few weeks? They've sucked.
Amanda continues to do what she wants, even after Mom and Dad both layed down the law with her last Saturday. I still feel horrible for what happened, like, two weeks ago. (See previous journal entry.) I have a cold... And Rena didn't call me yesterday! ><
Talking to Megan helps, but, only for as long as she's on the phone. And one can only motivate one's self for so long until it just doesn't work like it used to. Look at me! I'm supposed to be the happy-go-lucky dude that cheers everyone up just by entering the room! I'm supposed to be the best! I shouldn't have time to be down. Rather, I should be feeling great, despite the sore throat and stuffy nose! I should be pwning vidya gaems and creating works of art! But, it would appear that even demi-gods can get the blues.
And those weren't even the real problems. The real problem is that Amanda can do anything, get anything, and say anything by breaking the rules, and still get another chance. While I, on the other hand, get punished for just an "Improve organization" statement on my interim. She can screw everyone over and still have more friends than I could pray for. What the hell?
She can boss me around and tell me what to do and, if I don't do as she dictates, she goes over the edge and asks what my problem is. Why won't I just do what she tells me to do? Why can't I just let her break the rules and not tell Mom so she doesn't have to change her way or leave? Why am I such a horrible brother, who blindly follows the authority figure, but not follow her?
And then there's the fact that I'm male. Now, this is not really a problem, but, for some reason, everything's always the male's fault. It doesn't matter whether I did anything wrong or not, it just matters that I'm male. And the male always has to do all the work, or, it does in this house. And a male couldn't possibly be the best. Males are too stupid, arrogant, and ignorant to be the best! Oh, but, this female over here can be the best. I think I'll encourage her when she says she's going to be the best. I won't encourage you, of course. I'll laugh at you and say, "Yeah, right." I'll bring you down and tell you that you could never be as good as this female, because she's female, and you're male.
*Sigh* Oh, well. I'll just have to trudge through this. It'll pass, eventually, and I'll be back to my sunshiney self.
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