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It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, for me.. And I'm feeling..

Pissed off.

There is this girl in my Law Enforcement class. She's a bipolar cutter.
All she ever does is complain about s**t.

When school first started, I was like, "Hey, a cutter! I can be friends with her!" She's the one who called me an amateur, who decided to try and get me to piss off, because I wasn't "worthy" of being her friend.

Later, something about bras came up, and she said "You wear a bra?" which I can understand as a joke, but she was being deathly serious. My respect for her flew out the window.

After that, we got on suicide. She gets in rant mode and starts off with "Have you ever tried to commit suicide? No So-"

"DON'T you tell me what I have or have not done. You know NOTHING about me. I HAVE tried it, three times, so don't assume s**t from me." I was seriously pissed off that day. She went on about how she ate 400 pills of aspirin and didn't die.
Unless she had a lot of bottles of aspirin, she's lying, because NO bottle has 400 pills in it. And I highly doubt her family has four plus bottles of aspirin just lying around and NOT half empty.

Then she says something about how her sister stabbed her. I don't know how many times she brought up her stabbing, but it's a lot. Because I know the ******** story by heart, now.

OKAY. I GET IT.
YOU ARE DEPRESSED.

But just because your sister stabbed you and your mom calle dyou fat all your life doesn't mean the rest of society owes you anything. It doesn't mean you have the right to completely ignore what everyone says to you and say they don't know any better. Because, GOD DAMN IT, PEOPLE KNOW MORE THAN YOU.

Today is just what flipped the lid.
The teacher made a comment about how at least half the room does drugs, and the bipolar girl(Katy) took it upon herself to dispute everything he said.

"You don't know they took drugs!" she buts in on his speech. "You don't know us!" when even *I* know that half the class takes drugs, her included. You're an a*****e Katy. Get over it.

Then the guy in the corner said that he did do drugs, and the teach made that comment, and she was all like "You don't know that! You don't know him!"

Did you not just hear him say he DOES DO DRUGS?! JESUS WOMAN.

So then The teacher makes a comment about religion for whatever reason, and talks about god.
She says, "Or buddha, because I'm a buddhist." to herself.
I chime in. "Buddha isn't a god."
She says, "I know that, to buddhists he's our god."
I say, "Buddha ISN'T a God."
We repeat these lines about three times before I just give up.

If you're a buddhist and don't even realise that Buddha isn't a god, you're not a buddhist.
So Shut up.

So then the teacher says something about love.
He says "Do you know what love is?"
And the guy in the corner says "It's an emotion!"
And the teacher says "No! You're wrong! Let me tell you what love is-"
And Katy's at it again.

"You can't do that! You're just going to say your opinion of love and think that it's EVERYONE's view?"
The teacher says something to the equivelent of yes.
"You can't do that, we don't all think like you"
The teacher starts explaining how love isn't just an emotion, and how english is a dumb language representing love. He gives latin and greek examples of the different kinds of love, and makes one of THE most convincing arguments I've ever heard(not that I didn't think love wasn't only an emotion anyway).
He finishes with something like "I just gave you all these example sof how love isn't JUST an emotion but more, how can you dispute that?"
She says "I know that, but"

HOLD THE PHONE.
You KNOW HE'S RIGHT?
THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ARGUING WITH HIM?!

Which is just what happens on the teacher's mind.
"Why are you arguing with me?"

"I'm not arguing, I'm proving a point"

But if he's right, and you know he's right, what are you doing?

"Listen," says the teacher, "If I know I'm right, I'm not goingt o let some 16 year old-"
"seventeen year old thank you," she snottily interrupts.

"Whatever year old KID tell me that I'm wrong when I'm not! So QUIT arguing with me!"
Except he said it in a much more intelligent way than that.
She kept arguing anyway.

I hate Katy. I hope she really does die. But I hope she dies only when she figures out she wants to live.
That'd be very cruel. And fitting.

She thinks she's always right. She brags about how nobody can help her, how the hospital thinks she needs long term and how she "can't be staying with a bunch of crazy people" because she's better than them and not crazy.
She's proud that she skips classes and cuts herself and cries in a corner.

She doesn't realise that they can't help her if she doesn't even bother LISTENING.

I want to STRANGLE her. She badmouths the teacher when he knows what he's talking about, and she obviously does not know anything except that society owes her the right to speak--which it doesn't-- and the right to people thanking her for her time for speaking from immense bank of wisdom since cutting and crying in a corner is so BLANKETINGLY GENIOUS.

I'm sorry. If I will respect you and everyone else will respect you when you quit disrespecting everyone else.

Cutting yourself and crying in a corner is not something to be proud of.
Bleeding over stress and taking fat comments to heart is not ingenious.
"he called me ugly, and that hurt my feelings" is NOT a viable excuse for thinking you're better than everyone else.

Listen here, you douschebag. Tons of people have it worse than you. Tons of people were stabbed by their mothers and fathers and had to go through so much more than simply being called fat every day. They don't complain about it. They don't BRAG ABOUT IT. They do not use it as an excuse for being depressed. They don't let that expierence make them believe they are better than everyone else.

Katy, I don't know why anyone bothers saving you, because you are a hopeless case.

I am so glad I'm over my depression. When I hear "Depression is only a phase," I believe it.
Everyone in the past was told that Depression is a phase, and because they wanted to get over it, to not be in the phase, and to be normal, they fought. And they got over it. And it really was a phase.

But now we have people coddling you and saying "It's okay. It's not your fault. You have a mental disorder. It's okay."
NO. Don't feed the monster. For four tiring years of my constant self-harm and self-incrimination and panic attacks and depression, everyone always said "It's okay." It is NOT okay. To solve four years of depression, you know what it took?
3 hours of a friend drilling into me that it was NOT okay. Three hours of my friend drilling into me that It IS my fault. I was making a problem out of nothing. There are other ways to deal with things. You can hold it in or you can let it pass.

There is no such thing as a mental disorder.

-----

Mental disorders and mental illnesses are totally different things. Schizophrenia, for example, is not something you just get over, although I'm sure t if you tried hard enough, you could(but it'd be years of trying and years of trying). Depression, Manic Depressive, Borderline, and Bipolar are the disorders I'm mostly talking about here.

----

Placebos are 33% effective in curing whatever it is you have. You only use 10% of your brain. If you put your mind to something, you can always do it. If you convince yourself that you are crazy, you are. If you convince yourself you are a genious, you will be one. Likewise, if you convince yourself that you are healthy, you will become healthy. No one teaches mental health any more. People have degradded "mental health" into Depression and s**t, instead of what it really is: convincing yourself of what you need to be.

When I convince myself I am drunk, anyone on the outside will say that I am drunk. There is no doubt. I just AM. Becaus emy mind has deluded itself into thinking that.

When you realise that all you're doing is using depression as an excuse to keep crying in your corner and to keep cutting your arms and legs even though you know it's wrong, it's time to quit being lazy and convince yourself that you ARE NOT sick. It's your fault you're getting bad grades, it's YOUR FAULT you're scarred and bloody. Why is it your fault?
Not because you aren't good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough.
It's your fault because you're not doing anything to help yourself.

Watch the movie K-Pax. Hopefully that will pass on what I am trying to say better.