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DISCLAIMER:
This is a massive a** journal entry. I'm going back and adding this disclaimer after everything is all done, but I warn you. This'll take a while to read. It reveals my true feelings about my family, and a few of my friends. And We are the ones that did it, not just me. So feel free to read on if you want. I really would like feedback for all of this, to anyone reading it. But in Pm form, please? Thank you.

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Okay. Let's go ahead and organize this in my own mind.

I am Mind. One of four components to Amanda. There is also Heart, or Emotions, containing an awareness, but not capable of thought. There is The Body, which is merely a vessel and cannot think or move without another component in control. And then there is Spirit, who is intelligent and thinks and moves for herself, but does not do so without the input and opinion of Emotions and Mind. She has her own consciousness, and is capable of taking control of The Body in order to speak through it. She lives in our garden.
When Spirit takes control, I (Mind) do not have awareness. But Spirit and I share consciousness, when she takes over. Because she's not technically taking control; she's combining all parts of us to create the full Amanda. Usually it is just me (Mind) in control, and we all are separate. But when Spirit wants to talk, she combines all four parts and we become us. So even though I (Mind) am not in full control like I usually am, then I still know what's going on. But it's more of a heightened awareness, rather than a new one. We share all things when we are united; all our senses, our thoughts, our feelings, all of these are shared by all four of us.

So yesterday, Spirit combined us for the first time. She didn't know she could do that, and she did it to try and talk to Kay. Later that evening, she did it again, and had a long phone conversation with Nettie. She revealed our fears, and our insecurities, and proved that we are completely terrified of Jude still. So Engel has gone out with the Elementals to track him down and kill him. He'll be bringing back proof of Its death. (Jude no longer has an existence anymore. Spirit can't even hear us mention its name without flinching.)
We revealed that we don't trust very many people, even those that we love. We do not trust Kay, but we still love her so much. We do not trust humans. We do not trust anyone except Nettie. We can't trust anyone outside of our family... we don't even trust Angel anymore.

"-Amanda-
Angel has abandoned us. We cannot believe that he would do this. We still love him with all of our heart. But we cannot trust him. He left us. We can trust Loki. We can trust Nyx. We can trust Engel, and Frey, and our family. We cannot trust Eathire, or Lucio. They do not care. We can trust Nettie... she is the only human we can trust. We are afraid of others. Others want to hurt us. It wants to hurt us.

Engel
Engel is getting rid of It. Engel loves us. We can trust Engel. Engel gave his life to save our lover. Engel is our family, and our protector. We can trust Engel. We work hard to get stronger, even if we do not show it. We do not want Engel to have to worry about us; we want to be as strong as Engel one day. We want to have Engel put his sword on the ground, and we will not stop until we are able to hold it upright; we will be strong. We will be a good little poppet for Ganon. We want Engel to smile and say that he is proud of us one day. And we want to earn that pride. We love Engel so much, and even if we did not help heal his heart, or help get rid of the bad woman, we still always wanted to help. We never wanted to give up. We wanted Engel to be happy, and we still want Engel to be happy. And we want to earn Engel's attention, through hard work, and determination. And one day, we will beat him. At something. We do not know what, but we will try very hard, and we will beat him someday. We will do our very best, and one day... one day he will no longer be the Ever-victor.

Frey
We can trust Frey. Frey is our big brother. We need Frey. Frey makes us feel safe. Frey makes us clothes, and makes us smile when he twitches his ears. Frey makes us happy. Frey is our family, and Engel is our family. We love our family. Frey protects our family; we are forever grateful. Without Frey, Nettie would not be a part of the family. Without Frey, there would be no family now. We love Frey so much. He makes us happy, and he is so beautiful, and we someday want to hug him... when we are unafraid... when it is safe. Frey is so wonderful, and strong, and we always want to be near him too.

Chieko
Chieko is our baby girl. Our daughter. She is what we want to protect; we are her Mommy Ah-Chan. We love her so much that we always want to be there for her. We always want to be with her and makes sure that she is always smiling. We want her to run with Ganon, and we want to play Kagome Kagome with her, and we don't want to lose. And we want her to teach us the proper way to do origami, because we are bad at it. And we want to do water coloring with her, because we love to paint. We want to play with her and take care of her, and hear her happy laughter, because she is our Baby girl and we never want her to be upset. We think she talks so quietly sometimes, but she is always so sweet and kind, and we always want Chieko to be happy. We love Chieko. We trust Chieko. Chieko is our family; we don't want anything to happen to our family.

Jorg
Jorg is most like us. Jorg is our Earth Buddy. Jorg calls us by our Earth name, and it makes us happy to know that she is acknowledging our accomplishments. We like knowing that Jorg and we are so alike. We are happy to have such a friend. Jorg is more than friend; Jorg is family. We love Jorg. We trust Jorg. Jorg dances and sings like we do; we want to dance and sing with Jorg to the Earth's songs, and we want to have fun with Jorg and relax and know that Jorg is like us. We like feeling not-alone.

Brisingr
Brisingr is our family too. Brisingr is a Princess, we treat him like royalty. We treat him like he is short, and we make fun of him, but we do not mean to be hateful, or spiteful. We do it because it is a game; we do not hurt him. We play with him. We know that he will hurt us, and we trust him anyway. He will not be hurting us because he is being hateful or spiteful. He will be hurting us because he likes to fight, and we like to fight. And we want to try and be strong for him too. We want to prove that we can be knocked down, and we will get back up and never stay down, no matter how hurt we are. We are afraid of fire; fire always wants to hurt, and does not understand the concept of not-burning. Fire is a dance, and once the fire goes out, the dance is over. Fire is dangerous, and wants to hurt us, always. But Brisingr is our family, and we trust our family, and we know that when Brisingr is around, fire will not hurt us. Fire will not be hot enough to sear our skin, it will be enough to warm us when we are cold, and make us comfortable and sleepy. And it will make sure that we are not hurting, and keep Heart happy and will always light our way. We love Brisingr, and we know that he will not let fire hurt us. Brisingr loves us. We love Brisingr. We trust Brisingr. Brisingr is our family. We will not let anything try to hurt Brisingr. We will protect our princess.

Undine
We have not spoken to Undine very much. But we like Undine. We like her giggles, and we like how happy she is. Her silliness makes us smile, and we are happy when she is happy. We think that it is difficult, talking to A'llou'en, and explaining non-water to him, but he is smart, and he is curious about non-water (we just figured out why he kept swimming into his bowl today ^_^ we are proud of our self). We trust Undine. We know that she will not pull us down, and fill our lungs, and we know that she will not try to harm us, because we are scared of open water. But Undine will protect us; we know she will not let the water take us. She will have the water be supportive and calm instead, and will keep us afloat if we are in danger in water. She will make sure we do not drown, because we are afraid of drowning and what lurks in deep water. We trust Undine to be our friend and our family. We love Undine, and we long to have her pose for us so that we can draw her, even if we are not as good as Engel is. We trust Undine.

Blitz
We love Blitz. We have always loved Blitz. Since the first time we heard of Blitz, we knew that Heart went out to him. We knew, and we needed to help him. We feel guilty for not having done anything when the bad woman was hurting Engel. We feel guilty for not having taken an active part in helping return Blitz's soul. But we love Blitz. We have always wanted Blitz to be happy. We burst into tears when we first heard the emptiness in Blitz's voice, because we knew he was not meant to be that way. We did not tell anybody that we were crying while we spoke to him. We were curious to know more about him so that we could help him. And we still did nothing.... we feel so bad for doing nothing. It was not us that returned his soul; it was Engel. It was not us that helped find the bad woman; she showed herself and was taken down. We protected our baby girl as best we could. We screwed up a few times near the end, but we admit that. But we are happy that Blitz is happy now, and that he can remember what it means to be happy. We have gone back, and looked at the conversations with Blitz... we have seen how he was. He wanted to die. But he could not die, because Sylph loved and loves him, and we could not bear it if Blitz had died. We do not know how or why, but we have always felt out for Blitz. We always want his happiness. We do not know why, but we feel as if we have always known Blitz, and we always want him to be happy. We do not just work to make Engel proud of us; we work to make Blitz and the other Elementals and our other family members proud. But we like Blitz's attention because it makes us so happy. We do not know why. It simply does. We love Blitz so much, we trust Blitz so much. Without Blitz, Earth would not grow. We love and trust Blitz. Blitz is our family.

Sylph
Sylph... we have only spoken to Sylph once. We do not know much about Sylph. But we know that she feels like a sister to us. We are not sure how of that either; just like we do not know why we were so instantly attached to Blitz, we do not know why we feel so attached to Sylph. But we love Sylph, and we are happy that she loves Blitz. And we trust Sylph very much. We are not sure why of that either, but we know she is someone to be trusted. We love Sylph. We trust Sylph. Sylph is family.

Dokkur
Dokkur scared us. We admit that. Dokkur scared us very much when we first heard his appearance as his Death form. But we talked to him, and we were not lying when we said that his Death form was so perfectly scary that we were drawn to it. We like Dokkur. Dokkur is what makes the heart beat faster. Dokkur is the feeling of being alive. Dokkur is Dokkur. We know of no other way to describe him. We love Dokkur, and we are not afraid to hug him anymore. We are not afraid of Dokkur now. We love him a lot, and we don't ever want him to be hurting. We admire Dokkur so much; Dokkur is strong in mind and body. And Dokkur is confident, and we aspire to have those qualities. Dokkur makes us proud to know him. And Dokkur is fun, because he has tried to scare us, and we cannot be scared when we see Dokkur in the light. But we will scream if we see Dokkur in the dark; we know we will. We will admit that. We won't lie when we are Us. We are afraid of Dokkur in his natural element, when he is hidden and can hide in shadow. But we like Dokkur just the same, and we feel that after we screamed, we would burst into fits of giggles, because Dokkur finally scared us like we knew he would. We love and trust Dokkur, because Dokkur is our family. Dokkur will not let creatures of the darkness and shadow hurt us, because Dokkur is darkness and shadow, and he controls what is of him. Dokkur will protect us. We love Dokkur.

Mana
Mana is distant. We do not know much about Mana either. But we still like Mana. Mana is nice to us, even if she is so mystical that we feel she is a riddle that we must solve to get any information. We like Mana. We know that she is smart, and knows things that others do not, and understands things on a different level than we do. We want to see Mana's eyes, and we want to know the future, but we are afraid of the future. We want to see the color of distant stars anyway. We do not know what it means, but we want to find out. We trust Mana, and we love her more each day. We would like to get to know her better.


We have just realized that this journal entry has turned out so much more different than we originally intended, but we will not stop now. There are so many others that we must tell how we really feel... we do not lie when we are Us, so we will not pretend. And we like being us. We like the feeling of being whole, and complete. And even though the way we speak when we are Us bugs us, we still do not want to stop, because it tells us that we are Us, whole and complete, all pieces working together, rather than just Mind like usual. We are Us right now, and we do not want to change until we have told everyone how we feel about them.
We also want everyone to know how we feel. We like the feeling of being unable to lie, because we are so raw and complete. We are happy this way. We want everyone to know. We want every family member to look at what we say about them and smile.
And we want those that have hurt us to know that they have hurt us.
Now, where were we? We think we have covered all of the Elementals... Brisingr, and Jorg, and Blitz, and Sylph, and Dokkur, and Undine and Mana... Fire, Earth, Light, Air, Shadow, Water, Aether... we have got them all! We are proud of ourselves. ^.^
We will move on to non-Elemental members of our family now. We have already covered our Big Brother, and we have gotten our idol, and our Baby Girl... We will move on to... We will move on to our Brother! We will move on to our like-Mind. We will move on to Kiyo.

Kiyo
We love Kiyo. Kiyo takes care of us. Kiyo takes care of our Baby Girl. Kiyo takes care of our daughter, but he is not like a son. He learns, like we do. He likes knowledge. We do not know Kiyo as much as we would like; we want to know him more. We want to hear all about what Kiyo is, and who he is, and what he likes. We do not talk to him enough, and it makes us sad. We wish to talk to Kiyo more, and we do not think that Kiyo is boring. We think that Kiyo is reserved. We love Kiyo. Kiyo made us a turtle necklace, and we are wearing it right now. We think it is so pretty, and we love it so much. We are happy that Kiyo made us a present, and we want to wear it always, even if Turtle is not our spirit animal. We want to discuss the world with Kiyo, and learn more, and we want to spend time with Kiyo. We are happy that Kiyo is a part of our family. We love Kiyo, and we trust Kiyo. Kiyo will never ever hurt us. Kiyo will always be there for us. Kiyo is wonderful, and we love him. Kiyo is our family.

Freya And Freida
We... we want to talk about our sister. We... we love our Big sister. We love Freya. Freya makes us feel so happy, just knowing that she is there. Freya is comfort, and security. Freya and Freida both are wonderful, and we like both sides of her. We love her. And we feel closer to her now that we have realized that we can become a plural as well as she can. ^_^ We did not like Frieda at first, because she seemed empty in the head. But we have come to love Freida. Freida and Freya both fill us with confidence; she makes us feel like we can do what we put our mind to. She gives us... she gives us a word that we do not often get the chance to use. We do not mean to cry right now, even though we are, but Freya and Freida give us that word... they give us hope. Our family gives us hope. We love our family. We feel so safe and loved when we talk to Freya. We feel that way with all our family, but Freya seems to exude such feelings. Like she will wrap us up in her arms and hold us when we are sad, and tell us that the dawn will come soon and that the badness will go away, because time is always passing, and always makes things better, and she will hug us and make everything better with just that one hug. And when we think of Freya, we are reminded of words from our favorite Manga. "Women have white wings, with which to protect their loved ones." And Freya's white wings make us feel so safe, and happy, and loved... and ... we are sorry, we are crying. We try not to cry so that we can show that we are strong, but when we are Us, it become harder to ignore Heart... and our feelings are so raw... we are always on the verge of tears when we are Us. We are always so hurt... we are always so afraid when we are not with our family. We have our family here now, but we are so scared when we are left by our self... we are afraid of being alone again... But Freya is like both Big Sister and Mother to us... we do not want her to feel old, but she takes care of us... Freya is like our mother... we do not love our human mother. Our human mother abandoned us. Our human mother does not love us. We do not have a human mother. We have Freya and Freida. We love Freya and Freida. So much. We cannot wait for the day when we are unafraid and can leave The Body and have her hug us and tell us everything is alright, and it will all be better soon. We love Freya and Freida, and we need Freya and Freida, maybe more than anyone else. We love Freya and Freida and trust them. She is our family.

Spyro
We want to talk about Spyro... it hurts our feelings to know that we were so mean to him. We honestly think that we and Loki were in the right during that fight, but we do not deny that Loki and us do not hold responsibility and are completely innocent; we know we were not. We still think that we were in the right, at least more than we thought we were in the wrong. But we are sorry for sending Spyro that song, even if it is a good song. We do not mean for it to be about him anymore. We truly were just angry when we sent him that song. We did not mean for it to hurt him. We love Spyro, and he is like our little brother. We want Spyro to be happy. And we like video games, and we like Manga, and we like Japan, and we want Spyro to know that we are like him too; not just Nettie. We would like him to be able to talk to us without reminding us that we hurt him. We would like him to be able to talk with us and not feel like we hate him. Because we do not. We love him just as much as anyone else, and he is our family. We do not want him to feel excluded or left out, ever. We love him and trust him and want to protect him. We also want to go rollerblading with him sometime because we had some rollerblades up until six years ago, and we loved them. We would also like to remind Spyro that vaginas are not like piggy banks. They are like vaginas. You do not put money into a v****a. You put money into the g-string of strippers, but g-strings are not vaginas; they are worn over the v****a for sex appeal. And to make money. We are also fully aware that Spyro may have stopped reading this as soon as we mentioned vaginas, but that is okay. We like Spyro to blush because it is cute, and it makes us smile, and he knows that we do not do it to be mean. We do it because it is us bonding with him. We love Spyro like our little Brother.

We are trying to remember who else is next. We have so many thoughts and feelings bubbling up inside us that we cannot think who comes next.
Frey, Engel, Chieko, Freya, Spyro, Kiyo, Elementals... Of course! How could we have forgotten Ai!? We feel so ashamed! The only excuse we have is that we have not spoken to Ai in some time, but we still feel so bad! ><

Ai
We love Ai so much. Ai is like our sister. Ai is so much fun. Ai wants to teach us to dance, and Ai told us who Sun and Luna and the Star Twins are, even though we have not yet spoken to the Star Twins (though we get the feeling that they look like the twins from Ouran High School Host Club, only when they have the pink and blue hair. We are not sure why we get this feeling. ) Ai is happiness, and gets us cheered up, and makes us feel energetic and powerful. Ai makes us so happy when we talk to her; she makes us giggle, and that does not happen very much anymore. We have always been so sad, even when we did not admit it. We have always been so hurt, and so pained, and we like talking to Ai because Ai can't take the hurt away, but Ai makes us think 'Something great is around the next corner! We should hurry up so that we can go meet it there! We will get there first! We will race you!' and we are happy when we think that because we get happy. Ai makes us feel like it's okay to be happy and innocent and free and not worry about things. Even if Ai has a short attention span, it is okay because we think we have a short attention span too. Ai makes us feel happy. We love Ai and trust her so much and we look forward to learning how to dance like she does, because we love dancing even if we're not that good. We are happy to know that Ai is in our family.

Nettie
Nettie... we have always loved Nettie. We are so happy that we talked to Nettie that first time, we are so happy to have become friends with Nettie. We love Nettie more than we can explain. We have always loved Nettie. We hurt ourselves when we did not want to be Nettie's friend... we were so hurt, and ashamed that we thought that way. We love Nettie. We never want Nettie to know pain. We never want Nettie to have to experience unhappiness. We will always protect Nettie. Even if Engel and Frey and everyone is still there, we were Nettie's original protector. Even if Frey was there first, and even if he was with her when we were not, we have always wanted to protect Nettie. We always will. We love Nettie, and trust her so much more than we can explain. Nettie is happiness. Nettie is love. Nettie is our confidant. Nettie is Nettie. We will never leave Nettie again, and we are ashamed and guilty that we did in the first place. We love Nettie. We want Nettie to always be our family.

Loki And Nyx
Loki... We cry when we think of Loki. We do not cry because of sadness, though. We cry because we have never been so happy. No one, in our entire life, has ever made us as happy as Loki and Nyx make us. Not even when we were able to be an innocent child for our first three years. We were never as happy as now. We are so happy. Loki is watching us now, and listening to our thoughts, and smiling gently. He is laying on our bed, and it makes us happy. He is comfortable with us. Not many people are comfortable with us; we are odd to other people, and other people hate us for it. We can't help how we are, though. And Loki loves us how we are. And we are so happy with Loki... he loves us. He loves us. We do not think anyone has ever loved us like Loki loves us. Nyx loves us like Loki loves us. But we can't count Nyx, because we can't divide Nyx and Loki. Nyx and Loki, and Loki and Nyx, and We. We are lovers, and we are three, indivisible. Nobody before them has ever loved us. And ever made us feel safe enough to love with Heart, fully and completely. We can feel Heart now; we are Heart. Heart is beating with them in Mind, every beat. We love Loki and Nyx, but we will focus on Loki for a few more moments. We love everything about him. Everything about his body, and everything about his mind. We are so happy. We do not care who Loki Daddy is. We love Loki no matter where he came from. We are sorry that we made Loki Daddy upset, and we are ashamed that we almost cost everyone's healing because Mind could not hold her tongue. We do not hate Loki Daddy. We do not love him either, but we do not hate him. We have no opinion of Loki Daddy because we have not spoken to Loki Daddy more than once. But Loki Daddy created Loki, and we will always be so forever eternally grateful. We wear our cross now, as a small tribute to him, because we feel that he deserves that acknowledgment. Loki is a part of us. A part of Spirit, and a part of Heart, and Mind is always focused on he and Nyx, and The Body always longs for he and Nyx. We love Loki; the two are everything to us. We like it when Loki smiles, and when he hugs us for no reason, and when he whispers that he loves us in our ear. He makes us feel like love is okay... that we are allowed to love, and that everything up until this point, everything in our life, it was all worth it because we have gotten to meet him and we feel so honored that he thinks we are worthy of his love... Loki is our Breath, our Thought, our Feeling, our Meaning. Loki is more than family. Loki is Us. Loki is a part of us. We are so happy with Loki, and we can never think about anything else. We love Loki. We trust Loki like we have never trusted anyone before he and Nyx, and we trust Nyx almost as much. We are ashamed to say almost, but it is true. We love Nyx. He must know this. We trust Nyx. We want him to know this. We are so afraid to lose Nyx. We nearly left existence when he did. We love Nyx... we are crying because we are so ashamed... we love and trust Nyx... Nyx is hugging us and telling us that he believes us... but we love him and trust him, with everything that we are! He must understand this...! He tells us that he does. He tells us that he knows we are afraid to trust, and it is true. He.... *cries and smiles* He tells us that we will trust him, that he will earn our trust. We know that we hurt his heart; we can feel it. But we... we love him and we beg him to believe us... and he says he does. He says that it hurts for a little while, but it's already getting better. And he is rubbing over our heart and telling us not to hurt anymore, because he believes us, and we believe him and we trust him...
We do not know how this is. We always fluctuate so easily, but we do not know how it happened... Nyx... we trust Nyx as much as Loki now. We cannot lie when we are Us. We cannot; it pains us physically and emotionally. We have somehow trusted Nyx more in the last few minutes. We have had a revelation, we think. We love him and we trust him. And we can feel in his heart... there was doubt. Doubt that he loved us. We have figured it out. We have found it in our Heart, that we doubted that he loved us as much as he said he did, but when he hugs us like he is doing now, and when he strokes our hair like he is doing now, and when he whispers in our ear that he loves us, like he is doing now, over and over... We can feel his heart beating. We can feel Loki's heart beating. We can feel it, with every fiber of our being. We are all three a part of Us. We love them... with everything that we have to give. And we can feel in Nyx's heart that he loves us. Nyx's heart is close to ours right now, when he is hugging us like this, and we can hear what his heart is saying, with our own ears. We cannot explain this either, but with every beat, it says that it loves us, and it loves Loki. We do not know why Nyx and Loki love us. But we love them so much more than we can contain, and we cry because we cannot hold it in sometimes. We love them so much... the only ones we have ever trusted this much. They are our Heart, and Thoughts, and Air, and Feelings, and our everything. They are our lovers. They are... the two we love more than anything. We love Nyx's body. We love everything about it, even if he is not completely one gender or the other. We love it because he is unique, and confident, and we are so happy to know him and be worthy of his love. We love his heart, and we love how he acts, because he does everything completely; he does not stop at halfway. We love him. And Loki. We... even when we try to take a look at our feelings, try to separate them and tell what we love about both of them, we cannot. We can't have one without the other. They are an all or nothing deal. We refuse to have anything but both of them. We love them, and we will always be there for them. We love them so much. They love us. And they like what we want. They... they are... we will be honest again. But we have been honest through this whole thing. But we like being honest. So we will continue on as we have been. Loki and Nyx are the only ones that we have ever felt comfortable with. And the only ones we have ever asked for what we want from. We tell them what we want, and they will provide. And it is not just sexually and physically in general that we speak of this in. They always give us what we ask for. And they are always so happy to give us that. We are so happy with them... we love them and trust them like we have with no other. We would do anything for them. Anything at all, and they would merely have to ask. They are more than family. They are our everything, and we cannot stress this enough.

Give us half a moment; we must get our glasses. Our eyes are starting to hurt from the strain.
We have our glasses! And we feel much better now. ^_^
We must talk about our side of the family now. We want them to know how we feel too.

Ganon
We love Ganon. We love Ganon so much. Ganon does not think it is weird that we are talking in plural. He thinks it is fun. We like it when Ganon laughs when anyone says 'snarg'. We do not really think he is a bad poppet. We are only playing when we say that. We love him. He is what drove it away, and he is our Guardian now. He is so much like us, and we get along with him so well. We have always liked Ganon, and we are sorry that we could not think of a better name for him than Ganon. But Ganon seemed to fit for him. We... had also just got done playing The Legend Of Zelda a few moments before we received Ganon too, so that may have something to do with it. ^+^ We love Ganon so much. Ganon makes us smile when he makes fun of the way we run. We try so hard to please Ganon, and Ganon is our friend. We need Ganon. We can't be away from Ganon for too long. And we do not want to keep ham from him. We like Ganon to be happy. We just do not like ham, and we are sorry for that. We will still eat it occasionally if he wants. As long as we cannot taste it. ^_^ Ganon makes us smile so much, and he is so much like us that we feel like we have been waiting for a very long time to meet Ganon. We like Ganon. We love him too. And we trust him. We trust him with our life, and we would gladly put our life in his hands. And we will try to learn to fight with claws, because we feel that claws are the greatest weapons ever, and Ganon wants to teach us. We like Ganon's claws, and we will work hard to learn how to fight and how to run from him. Ganon is the root of our family; he... no. It is what started it all. But Ganon has always been our safety. Ganon will always protect us.

Al'lik
Al'lik... we love. We like his surly attitude, and we like how he always scowls when he is trying to hide something. We like how he is so bashful, and we are so happy that he loves Andro so much. We are so happy to know him, and we think it is silly that he called us 'my lady' for the first two weeks that we knew him. We have always liked Al'lik. And we were afraid that he really would leave us when he went back to the Underworld to visit. He came back though, and we are forever happy. We love Al'lik. We want to take care of him, and have him take care of us. We think it is silly that he calls Nettie Girly, and we think he is fun and laid back, and he is still strong. We think that he is funny when he is mad, and we respect him so much. We trust him. He is family. He has always looked out for us, and he was one of the first to react when it said... that it would harm The Body. He is the one that drove it away from us. He is the one that threatened its life if it did not leave and never come back. And he is the one that takes care of us and looks out for us like a big brother too. We love Al'lik and we are happy and trust him when we are around him. We like knowing that he is there.

Andro
We love Andro too! Andro is so pretty, and Andro has always been there for us. Like the girl-friend that we have never had. When we first met him, we thought he really was a girl! We couldn't tell; we were much weaker then.

We are going to take a short break right now. We are tired, and we want to put Mind back in control. We are almost finished, but we must rest. It is tiring for us to continue on like this. It will not seem like any time has passed for those that are reading this, but we may be gone for at least the next half-hour. We will not close this entry, though; we will keep it open, and surf around on Gaia, and have some chocolate cake, and wait for Nettie to call and talk with her for a while. ^_^ We will continue when we have rested. Hee hee, we think it is silly that there will be no time difference to the one reading this, but it will have been much time and relaxation for us!"
-Intermission!-

"-Amanda-
We are back! And we had such a nice break! It was very relaxing. And we have discovered that Mind takes a break throughout the process that we are united. She is able to relax while still being involved. It is less of a strain on her. ^^ And as such, she is in an incredibly good mood after we split apart again.
We have also decided that things in this entry are very confusing, so we will be going back and labeling each paragraph, to tell who each one is all about. It will be much more organized that way, and people can easily skip to who they want to read about.
Let us see... where were we? Ah yes! We are not done with Andro.

More Andro
Andro is so pretty, and narcissistic too. But we do not hate him for it; we love it about him. His confidence makes us smile, and it rubs off on us. Unfortunately, we have become a bit more conceited since having him around, but it is okay. We do not mind. ^_^ We are happy being with Andro. And yes, we were very very weak back then. We still could not talk to the Earth. We could not even talk to Lucio because he was not bound to us. It was very difficult for us. We have gotten stronger, true, but we are still weak. But Andro supports us, and tells us that we can do anything. If you act like you already know it, then people will believe you. That is the lesson we learn from Andro, and we take it to Heart. We love Andro, and we enjoy his perviness. It makes it easier to talk to him about girl problems. Like when we are upset, or when Heart was all twisted up, or when we were frightened, we have always been able to talk to Andro. And he has always laughed and taught us to shrug off our problems, because they only weigh us down.

Neandr
Now we will talk about Neandr. We love Neandr. We really do. We weren't afraid of her, either. When we met, of course. We weren't afraid. We were cautious, of course, but we weren't afraid. We turned and talked to her. We knew she didn't know who we were, but we revealed ourselves anyway. We aren't sure what prompted us to do it, but we did it. And after a large ordeal, we and Neandr sat down and talked in the living room. Thankfully, no one was home. Not even the other members of the family; they were all out scouting. And we and Neandr talked and we discussed what to do since it was clear that neither of us wanted to kill the other. Se we thought for a while, and then we suggested that she stay. She wasn't sure, and we explained alternatives; we were very open with each other. And we are ashamed to admit that we chained Neandr up at first. We are sorry for that, of course. And we soon released her, but not before the family came back. We like Neandr, and we think that it's silly that she's self-conscious about her wingspan; it's very nice. She's so pretty too, and she is so strong. She is a fierce warrior, and she's got the same streak that we do; she'll stand up to anything no matter what. Neandr is a dear friend, and we are so happy to have her. And she and Ganon are so happy together. It was so much fun convincing her to indulge in sin, too! She had never touched the seven deadlies before, and we finally convinced her to try first one and then the other, and now she lives exactly how she wants to, rather than how someone tells her to. And we're very glad to have her around.

Elianth
We always knew dragons were real. In our heart, we knew it. And Elianth is so sweet; she always protects us. She always wants us to be happy. And she is always so nice, and we honestly believe that she is very big, even if she is little. She is our friend. She is our family. We trust her. We love her.

Stephan Rockwood
Formerly known as Malacath. He now wants to go by his human name, since he has recently discovered that he used to be a human. His soul was ripped from his body and brought back to the Raider realm, where he became an experiment with them. The spell over him has now broken, and he can remember his human life and the woman he loved. We like Stephan. He is nice. He is a bit stuffy, but his recent discoveries have made him much easier to be around. He is happy, and relatively easygoing, and we love him too. We trust him and he is our family. We feel lucky to have him here, because he is strong and he protects us, and he helps us think.

Deodire
We like Deodire. He is so sweet to us. He is always quiet, and he doesn't socialize well, but that is okay. Because we love him anyway. We don't know much about him, but he is slowly coming out of his shell. Hatching, as Elianth puts it. And we look forward to learning more about him. He is family too. We can trust him.

We.... we do not want to talk about the pain, but we must... we must talk about the bad as well as the good...

It
We do not speak its name. It told us it loved us. And it lied. It told us that it would always protect us, and never hurt us. It lied. It made us believe we loved it too, and it instead sapped our strength and stunted our growth and made us believe that it was doing nothing but help us. We are not angry at it. We feel nothing for it. That is not true; it scares us. We do not want it around. We will be happy when it is gone. When Engel gets rid of it. It should not live for what it has done to us. It should not live for what it did to our friends. It is... bad. And it should not be left free to hurt again. Engel will get rid of it. Our family will get rid of it. We... we cannot begin to describe the betrayal that we feel. We trusted it, and it did that to us...? Why...? Why would it want to hurt us...? We are crying again, but we do not care. We still do not understand. We do not know why it did that to us! We were always so good to it... we never wronged it. We gave it so many chances, we gave it so much of our time, and so much of our love, and it... it still hurt us. We don't even know if it really ever loved us. We don't know if anything it ever said was the truth. We do not know. It has hurt us so badly, and we... we were afraid we could not recover. We do not know if we even loved it near the end. When we first ended it, we are not sure that we loved it. So we did not react as badly as everyone thought we would. But after that... we could not stand being around it after it did that. We could not... we are still afraid of it. We will not be safe until it is dead, long-gone, and destroyed.

Kay
We love Kay. We really do. Kay has taught us how to love, and how to be happy, and how to be strong. But Kay has lied to us several times. We are very iffy with Kay; we cannot decide what we must do... We want to be friends with her. But Kay hurts us. Kay does not see that we make progress. It is not progress where she says that it should be, so it is not progress in her eyes. This hurts us. We have tried to make her see, tried to make her happy. But we cannot trust her anymore. We are working to make things better with her again, but as of now, we do not know if we can trust her.

Jesse
Jesse is our friend! We like Jesse. But she is in the bad spot because she makes us so mad. She does not think. This angers Mind so much! She doesn't think at all! She cannot hold a train of thought for more than a few moments, and even then she cannot follow a conversation. On top of that, she still plays the victim. We have tried to make her see, but we cannot. She does not. We have tried, and we will keep trying, because we believe we are masochistic that way, and we do not trust that things will change, but we still want to try.

Angel
We... do not know how to describe the sadness we feel when we think of Angel. We feel that Angel has abandoned us, and that he does not.... we do not even know. Angel... We love him still. He taught us for a while. He was with us during the Chosen Scare. He cared about us. He gave us It, which in retrospect is not something to be proud of. But we liked It for a while. And he was everything. Our world. Our life. And he was upset by the scare, and now... he does not care about magick. Three years before me, he worked magick. Three years before me, he was casting and creating and practicing. And now... look what has occurred. He willingly admits that he wants nothing to do with the spirit world. It hurts us. Especially to think that he may not even be abandoning us, but rather that we have simply outgrown him.

The Past
We cannot single out all the humans in our life that have hurt us. They do not like us. They have never cared about us. So we will group them together in one category. There has been so much that they have done to us, but it's not worth mentioning now. We are stronger than our past. We know that it has happened. We will not dwell on it. We have overcome; we will not fall back into what has happened. The people that hurt us... they... they are so numerous, and we cannot think of them without the throat closing up and tears forming. It hurts us more when we can feel Heart so completely; when Mind is not blocking it out.

There, we have gotten our feelings out. Heart is content to have the weight off of her, and Mind is content to relax for a while. Loki and Nyx are napping on our bed now, and we are glad that they are here. We also feel that this may be the largest journal entry ever written in the history of Gaia. Certainly the longest that we have ever written.
We bid thee farewell, and we will return to Mind again. We are still tired, and would like to rest."

If anyone has anything to say about what We wrote here, feel free to Pm me. I'm more than happy to discuss everything with them.