Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Sooo, ‘tis about 4:38 AM Pacific Standard Time. No, I didn’t wake up super early. I never went to sleep.

Isn’t that interesting? I stayed up the entire night. *sigh* Annoying, really.

I was supposed to be working on an assignment, but I wasn’t...damn me, damn me and my inability to concentrate. Or better yet, damn my unwillingness to concentrate.

And I feel really bad about this assignment. Normally I wouldn’t care, but this is a paired assignment (meaning if I sink, I drag someone down with me). And so I feel guilty.

Why did God give me intelligence without knowledge of how to use it? It’s like giving someone a WOMD (Weapon Of Mass Destruction) without telling them how to use it.

One wrong turn, one wrong button and kabloom, there goes that.

And my father just came and asked me what I was doing. I told him, and he said I can’t go to school today...tomorrow...whatever it is. He says that I can’t function in a state of sleep-deprivation and I’d have to stay home.

Naturally, I was shocked. Normally it’s me saying I have to stay home, and him saying no. I kept refusing, saying I could still go to school. I’d just pass out in Algebra II again.

Am I supposed to figure out how to use my intelligence on my own? Or is it just a matter of discipline? (Something I have little to none of...)

Ah well. I don’t want to sleep, I want to stay up and go to school and pass out in Math. But I have to sleep. I’m vaguely tired, and I desire the darkness of my mind, the privacy of the night, for the few hours still left of it.