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Never Be My Father
Description: Phoenix Black had been beaten and abused her entire life. Until she is taken to her father's house after his escape. But she expects nothing but what she has grown up with. After being moved to Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry she meets a young man who doesn't want anything from her but friendship. What will happen when someone from her dark past returns for more? Will her new friends do anything to help her? Or will she be stuck, again with only one answer, submission?

Disclaimer: I own only Phoenix Black, she is a character from my imaginings. Harry Potter and the rest in this story, along with the locations and schools belong to J.K.R.

(Be gentle this is an old story brought back from my vaults with added pieces to go with the books. And no I did not take this from Heaven Leigh Dahl. I AM Heaven Leigh Dahl.)


Chapter 1

Phoenix Black grew up not really know what would become of her. Her mother had died when she was just a baby and her father had been sent to prison just before her mother's death. She had come to live with her grandfather just after the events took place.


No one knew it, but Phoenix had a bad life with her grandfather. He blamed her father for everything that had happened to her mother. But not just that, her grandfather was a cruel man, period. He enjoyed beating Phoenix on a daily basis. Because of this, Phoenix Marie Black would never be considered a 'beautiful girl'.


Though she had looked just like her beautiful mother once, now her ivory face was scarred and maimed. There was a giant scar next to her right eye, that was the first scar she had gotten, though it definitely would not be her last. Her violet eyes were dull, had never known what it was to be bright. She was extremely skinny, with scars marring her arms, legs, stomach and back. Her entire body was something like a cutting board to her grandfather.


She spent her first four years of schooling at Durmstrang where her grandfather knew the headmaster and had made, sort of an arrangement with him, so that she was constantly watched. The headmaster had been even more cruel than her grandfather, as he wanted to do more than just beat on her, though, she was still, constantly, beaten. After her fourth year, a man named Remus Lupin took her from the school and her grandfather and moved her into a place called The House Of Black, saying that this was her family house.


It was a dark house, with a lot of dark magic items. This was something that she was used to, all the dark magic. Her grandfather used this stuff and it was all over the school. She looked around and soon realized that it was full of men. Her heart plummeted. Things weren't going to change, no matter what that man had said. Nothing would ever change. So, Phoenix simply put her chin to her chest and let her hair fall over her face, accepting what would come.


Unbeknownst to her, Sirius Black was living in the bedroom next to hers, living in the house as a great dog. Phoenix walked the place like a scared cat, waiting for the shoe to drop. People came and went all the time, and a red headed family moved in shortly after her. The mother, who asked her to call her Molly, tried her hardest to bring Phoenix around to talking or just looking at people. But that did not work at all. The red headed boys were everywhere around the house making noises and they seemed to be around her all the time, so much so that Phoenix took to hiding in her room at all times, except in the middle of the night when she went downstairs to make her own food.


Phoenix was getting skinnier, and more of a recluse as the summer went by. She wasn't around when the muggle born girl came to the house, and when the boy named Harry Potter came to stay, she was still in the dark room, hiding out, waiting. She heard the commotion, the two new voices, one her father, but she didn't know that.


Phoenix curled up in her bed most days, most times of the day, she sat next to her window with the shades drawn, no light coming in. The light was what got you, the light was what betrayed you, nothing light could be trusted.

When her Hogwarts letter came, Phoenix was surprised. She hadn't expected to actually get away from her other school. She was just biding time. She was to go to Hogwarts on the train with everyone but she was to be sorted in the Deputy Headmistress's office. She didn't know about this House idea. How were they supposed to know who she would get along with? How was this supposed to be family? She begrudged going to this school. The only family she had ever known hadn't exactly been good to her.

Phoenix smiled at the pretty owl that had delivered her letter. It was a brown barn owl, and it looked so regal, so beautiful. It was free, like she wished to be. She gave it's head a stroke before it flew away. Freedom would be wonderful.

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Chapter 2


Phoenix followed the group to the station, staying a considerable length behind them, with her chin to her chest and her hair over her face. No one paid much mind to her, except the dog. The great dog walked next to her at one point, barking lightly and trying to get her to pet it.


Phoenix liked animals, but there was something about this one. Something that told her that it wasn't being honest, though dogs can't exactly lie. She had given it a quick pat on the head and moved away from it as best she could on the narrow side walk. The dog gave up on her, as most things did, and decided to chase birds instead, making the boy, Harry Potter, laugh.


When they reached the station Molly pulled her aside and tried fixing her stringy black hair. "Now, then, Dear. Things will be better now." She said, her eyes on Phoenix's scarred face. "Nothing could be worse than what that man did to you." Phoenix pulled away from the affection that she had been enjoying at the mention of her grandfather. Then she simply muttered to the woman her first words since arriving at The House Of Black.


"You'd be surprised." With that she boarded the train. Phoenix knew worse. She knew what it was like to be told to lay down and just be still. She knew what it was like to be hit repeatedly and whipped. She knew worse than anything these kids on this train knew.


She was one of the first people on the train and found an empty compartment. But, of course, it filled very quickly. She ended up sitting next to the two red haired twins and their friend, a dark skinned boy who looked at her like she was an alien. The twins tried talking to her, bringing her into their conversation, but she knew those tricks. They would act like her friend, then get her into a dark corner. She wouldn't fall for that again. She again, let her chin fall to her chest. That was a signal the twins understood from the summer. They stood, promised that they would be back, then the three of them left. Phoenix took this opportunity to change into her uniform and fall asleep.


Only, she couldn't sleep. It was too noisy. But she could pretend. She heard the three come back, and heard them whispering, about her.


"What's wrong with her?" Their friend, Lee, asked. Phoenix pretended even harder that she was asleep.


"Nothing is wrong with her." One of the twins said. "What's wrong with you?" He sounded very defensive. His brother chimed in as the peace maker.


"We don't know, really. All that anyone will tell us is that she 'had a hard time of it'." He mocked. "But, be nice, you Git." He said, and she heard a shove. "She doesn't talk. I think she might be mute."


Phoenix raised her head and looked at them as her hair fell away. "I'm not a mute." She whispered. All were shocked. "I just don't talk when I don't want to."


"Why have you been hiding all summer?" One twin asked. Phoenix fixed him with a glare.


"Why should I trust any of you?" She asked, tucking herself into her corner. The three sat back in their seats, staring at her, again like she was an alien. She realized that her scars were visible and her chin joined her chest again.


"She's got us there, Fred." The twin across for her said to his brother. "But then, why shouldn't you trust us?" He asked her.


Phoenix looked at him through her hair. "Because men can't be trusted." She pulled her clothes closer to her and looked away ending the conversation.

But Lee was persistent. "Why are you coming to Hogwarts now?" He asked. "You have to be, what, fifteen?" Phoenix looked up at him.

"Why am I coming here?" She laughed a bitter laugh. "I don't know. I was living my life, as I had been. Then some man came, took me to some house and never explained anything." Then her eyes closed. "And there's the whole reason, men can't be trusted."

"Are you getting sorted with everyone else?" The twin next to her asked.

"No. I have to go to the Deputy Headmistress's office." She said, not enjoying the questions. "Why not just do what you want?" She asked finally. "Quit playing with me. It's worse when you do." She shut her eyes and waited.

The three boys were bewildered. What was she talking about? Do what they want? Playing with her? Finally, Fred spoke up. "What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I won't fight, unless you want me to." She said, a tear falling from her eye. "Just get it over with."

George finally got it. "Are you saying what I think you are saying?" He asked. "Phoenix, we aren't going to do anything to you." He tried to touch her face but she pulled away. "Is that what happened to you at your old school?"

Phoenix opened one eye. All three were exactly where they had been, stunned into statues. She closed her eye again and started to cry.


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Chapter 3



Phoenix walked into the school, followed closely by Fred and George Weasley, and Lee Jordan. She wasn't very comfortable with them so close to her, but there wasn't much way of her getting rid of them, this they had told her, in no unclear terms. She just couldn't trust anyone.

She watched the people about her age walking around her, laughing happily, and some watching her. She put her chin to her chest and fell back so that the three boys could lead the way for her. They were being nice to her, but how long would that last, she wondered.

People at Durmstrang had been nice to her too, for a little while. But, Molly had told her that it would be better at this school, but, no one ever saw what actually went on, not when they didn't want to.

Fred stopped at a door and indicated for Phoenix to follow him. She walked carefully behind him. When they got into the room, there was a classroom. Fred lead her to the door at the other end. He knocked and within seconds it was open.

A severe woman in a pointed hat walked out. "Thank you misters Weasley and mister Jordan. I will take it from here." She said dismissing them and pointing Phoenix into the room. She obeyed. After she closed the door she turned to Phoenix with a different expression, a softer and kinder one. "Hello, Miss Black." She said, sitting behind her desk and indicating a seat in front of it. "Now, before you are sorted, we need to talk about what your old situation was." Phoenix turned whiter than she was. "Now, I know that you were, to put it mildly, mistreated. I would like to know the extent of that."

Phoenix looked up at her. She shook her head. "No." She whispered.

"Now, Miss Black, please. It really is the only way for us to put you in the right place." Phoenix laughed bitterly the second time that day.

"No." She said. "I know what people think of me." She pulled her hair back to show her multiple scars. "I'm a monster. They stare at me, they laugh at me. I have lived my entire life, looking like something from a horror story. If you want to know the 'right place' to put me, I'll tell you. Just put me somewhere away from everyone else. That way I won't scare the small children and none of the older student's can hurt me." She said, letting her hair fall. The Deputy Headmistress looked shocked.

"Miss Black. I will not segregate you from the other students." She said, a bit more firmly. "You are not a monster. You have had a hard time growing up. There is no reason for anyone to be frightened of you and no reason for you to be worried about anyone hurting you." She stood and walked to the girl. "I am going to do something that is not procedure, but it is what you need. I know a Gryffindor when I see one. So, to keep you with the friends that you have made I am skipping the sorting hat process and placing you in that house. Now, come along. I will take you to the Great Hall and place you in the Weasley twin's care. They will take care of you." She sneered. "They may have a problem with the rules, but they are nice boys, and they will take great care of you." She lead Phoenix to the door and then to the Great Hall.

When they reached the Hall, everyone turned to look at her. And Professor McGonagall had told her on the way there what being a Gryffindor meant, Phoenix tried her hardest to keep her head up. After being placed in the twin's care, Phoenix blocked everything out but eating. The food was actually pretty good, compared to Durmstrang pig slop would be good. Everything for the rest of the night went by quickly enough for Phoenix. She spent her time with Fred and George, got a tour of the common room and was told where she would sleep, and that they wouldn't be able to take her up, because of a jinx on the staircase, but if she needed anything from them, she was able to come to their dorm. She thanked them and watched them go up the stairs to bed.

By this time the common room had cleared out and she was alone, by the fire. She knew that it would be best to go to sleep, but she wasn't really willing to. She got comfortable and just sat. She was still being 'watched' but this was nothing like what her grandfather had set up for her, she wasn't free, but she also wasn't in her cage.

Phoenix had zoned out by the time she realized that someone had sat next to her. It was a boy her own age, kind of chubby with dark hair and seemingly kind eyes.

"Hullo." He said. Phoenix backed away from him. "Don-Don't be afraid. I'm Neville. What's your name?" He made a move to touch her. Like a flash, Phoenix was off the chair and up the stairs. Things had changed, but she wasn't sure how much they had, nothing was to be trusted, not even herself.