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MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS
From Square One all the way up to Now

To those who know me. You may noticed that I was quiet at first. Never saying a word until you came and spoke to me. Back when I was little, no older than two, I wasn't able o speak. You see my tong was too short for me to talk with at the time. My mother had some surgery done so that it can freely move as it should. After that All I ever did was talk. Finding new words to say was, I guess for me, my favorite pastime. I loved to talk. Even when there was no one to hear me, I spoke to myself. It's strange really. A little boy talking to himself instead of an imaginary friend. That was all fine and dandy, that it until it was time for me to start school. During the first grade I still had my habits of talking to myself. The children looked at me as if I were insane. I might as well be. I never had the pleasure of speaking as early as age 1. As the years went by. I tried avoiding that odd habit of mine and I did, However there was a slight drawback. By doing so I became quiet. Ever so picky with my words before I used them. I never really understood why I did so, then again I ever so often never found the words I wanted to use. So the remainder of my elementary years I remained just that....quiet. It was only after I moved here t Murrieta that I began to talk a little. At the start of the Fifth grade, I saw it as a way to begin a new, as anyone should do on their first day at a new school. I opened up first. It was rather refreshing at the time. Little by little I started to talk even more, but then It happened. The wrong thing slipped. It was First grade all over again. The kids who I thought was cool with insulted me, my teacher looked down on me, And I was all alone again. It was a nightmare becoming real. The rest of the Fifth grade I became quiet yet again. Just minding my own Business where ever I went. I only had as much as two or three friends at the time, but they never really helped out in the end. It followed me all the way to middle school. There I just no longer gave a damn anymore. It was a lot more easy for me to be quiet(my old way of thinking), so why not make it easy on myself and just stay quiet. I found soon enough that It wasn't all that easy just to be quiet all the time. All that pent-up emotion in me. Sooner or later all of it will just find its way out. During the sixth and seventh grade I was suspended at least once for each year. All of them were emotional outbursts. I nearly killed a guy because of that. Having that happen to me not only left an impression on everyone else, but it showed me how wrong my approach to acting was. In the middle of My eighth year I left town to finish the remainder of the year at an academy. It was there that I finally was able to open up as much as I ever wanted to without consequence. I felt as though I were free. Once I finished my term there I returned to my home back in Murrieta and started high school. My hopes were to keep the things I learned from the academy and continue using them but that somehow backfired. I started off my Freshman year poorly leaving a bad impression with everyone. Without knowing it I went back to being the quiet once once more, but somehow it was different from before. The difference was that I had someone buy my side. Someone to stick to whenever I needed something. It was then that I truly had good friends. So here I am. Instead of being the quiet one that everyone avoided I was just me and nothing else.





 
 
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