Well... since i've started attending university i've been living at my bro's place while he was in the bahamas for the past few months now... and i've learned today for about the millionth time that my brother has the most insensitive and rude ways to break news to people. especially his family. I know this is probably my second or third post that is brother based, and i won't go into detail... but now i feel really unwelcome in a place i was starting to feel was my home... i even just recently had my mail changed to the address. but now i don't know what to do since i feel so... well just unwelcome and that puts alot of guilt on me. So now i don't know where to go or what to do... i want to keep going to school, but i would have no place to stay... and if i go back to nanaimo i'd just feel like i'm trapped and or being a burden to mom and dad, not that i don't feel like that already. i feel like i'm a burden to humanity, i always have, and it makes it really hard.. to feel like... my existance is anywhere near being a help to humanity. yet when i think of humanity and everything about it i can't stand that it exists... yet i want to know everything about it... that's why i want to be an archeaologist... and this problem i'm having now seems so small compared to what my future will hopefully be like... but i can't help but feel like cr*p on the dirty end of the stick. luckly going to anime club made me forget about this for abit... but once i get here again... i don't feel right... anyways... maybe i'm just tired from the lack of sleep due to using the floor as a bed... or maybe i'm just too sensitive... either way... i need to sleep... and stay in my dream world where reality isn't true reality... no matter how bad it may be.
Itchy Gonzalles Community Member |
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