this is something i read and its kinda stupid in a way but its true...
You listen to your friends talk about it over and over again. You try to make it happen, but too shy to let it. But then a guy doesn't care about your shyness, and he does it. So now, when your friends ask you "Have you ever kissed a guy?", you can brag about it and say "yes".
You kiss a couple of more guys, but all of them mean nothing to you as much as you mean to them.
Then a guy happens. The least of your dreams. The one that starts all of your troubles. And you fall in love with him. But 3 months later, your friend tells you he cheated on you, so you dump him. After that, you spend 5 months miserable. But till this day, you don't know if your friend lied or not, but you don't care cause you know that you were a fool to go out with him in the first place. And even more foolish to let him steal your innocence from you. And it was the last day you ******** him, that you realised that you were never going to be the same again. Only that day you felt no love towards him. You had already planned that you'd dump him 3 days later. So you ******** him just for the pleasure of it. But as usual, he wasn't good. Or maybe, you were the problem?
Then you saw her. Short, thin, small breasts, blue eyes and short brown hair. No make-up at all but still damn beautiful. She caught your eye immediately. You saw her once and never again. But still, you thought about her every single day. But then, after 4 months, you saw her again. Oh! That was quite an obsession. A kind of obsession that you have never experienced in your entire life. Who knew about this side of you? Surely not yourself. 2 months later, you found yourself talking to her, and the obsession suddenly faded away.
"Who the ******** is this jerk?" was the first thing you thought the first time you saw him. A couple of weeks later, you fell in love with him. With the first kiss he gave you. It had something delicate about it. Something intimate. And though you hate to admit it, yes, it was his kiss that made you fall in love with him. It's lame. You know that. But there's nothing you can do about it. You two spent 2 weeks in a kind of a serious relationship. Both of you loved each other, but he dumped you cause he was afraid he was going to hurt you. At least, that's what he said. But you believed him cause you knew that that's what would have happened though he would have done it unconsiously. But he promised that one day you'll try again, and once again, you believed him. You had hope so you couldn't forget about him.
But he moved on. He fell in love with her, the girl you were once obsessed with.
It seemed as if you had moved on too. You got another boy-friend that was blindly in lust with you. He says it was love, but you know it wasn't. You tried loving him, but your heart was already occupied. You dumped him after 3 weeks or "22 days" as he likes to refer to it. Then you had a 3 day boy-friend, that ended up with him texting you saying that it was better if you stayed friends. And you laughed. You knew from the beginning that he wasn't worth it. Actually, you knew that no guy was.
And you were still in love with him. Then, out of nowhere, he texted you, asking for another date and it happened 3 exact months after the first kiss from him. But this time, it was different. His kiss was rough. It wasn't delicate at all. You knew that something was wrong but you preferred to put that at the back of your mind. 5 days later, you got the courage to tell him you loved him face to face. He hugged you in a total friendly way and left. That was the last mistake you made with him. He told your friends that it was just a one time date cause he didn't feel comfortable with you. He made it look as if you were the problem, but you knew that he was because he was still in love with her. But you understood him. After all, you did the same with the lustful guy. But this time, you only spent 2 weeks miserable. You knew that there wasn't a chance for another try, so the hope you had vanished. You don't love him anymore, neither do you want him, but memories still hurt like hell.
He taught you not to fall in love again. Not to make some-one your everything. Not to dream or hope too much. He taught you not care about others' feelings.
Love only hurts and breaks. It kills and haunts. Yet you still waste every shooting star on finding true love.
I am hiding behing the image of "you".
yea like at the beginning about the first kiss thing yea thats kinda like me but ive already had my first kiss..and i HATED it...well not really cuz I was in love with the guy i kissed and i think he was going out with my bestfriend when i kissed him so yea i guess you could call me a whore...slut...hoe...watever but i dont think my friend ever found out about it so im good lol idk wat it is about this story thing but it resembles me in someway and its really weird..well not the part about falling in love with a girl cuz im not a lesbian or a bi..no offense if ur reading this and u are or anything cuz i dont have a problem with bi ppl or lesbians i was just saying.......umm anyway i dont really have anything else to say and i thing this is like the only entry that i havent cussed in for a while now...haha but im still pissed....well never mind i cussed..if u count pissed as a cuss word but idk i dont really think it is but thats just me so ya.........well im going to go now so peace out ppls mrgreen mrgreen
zarabanana25 Community Member 
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