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Rock star Rap:

When you're a rock star
You get to party hard
Champagne and caviar
Tricked-out exotic cars

It's just how I thought it'd be
'cept the party's not for me
'Cause some punk opened a credit card with my ID

Free What? (free credit!) report dot com (I said it!)
That's the site I'm gonna hit when I go home
They know how credit works
They send email alerts
Now I'm finding out how bad reality hurts

Bike:

Check it out, gas prices blowing up sky high
Ditched my used subcompact for a two-wheeled ride
Now I'm rolling eco-friendly but I still look bad
When the bike store saw my credit they said this was all they had I'm singin'

F to the R to the E to the E to the
C to the R to the E D I T
re to port to the dot to the com
Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along, it's easy

New Car:

Well I was shopping for a new car, which one's me
A cool convertible or an SUV?
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whack
'Cause now I'm driving off the lot in a used sub-compact.

F-R-E-E, that spells free-
Credit report dot com, baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about going but was too lazy
Now instead of looking fly and rollin' phat
My legs are sticking to the vinyl and my posse's getting
Laughed at

Dream Girl:

Well I married my dream girl
I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her mom and dad's.

No we can't get a loan
For a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on an old credit card
If we'd gone to free credit report dot com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard.

Pirates:

They say a man should always dress
For the job he wants, so
Why'm I dressed up like a pirate
In this restaurant?
It's all because some hacker
Stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evening
Serving chowder and iced tea

Shoulda gone to:
Free credit report dot com

Yee-haa!

I coulda seen this coming at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in T-shirts