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So I get the urge to listen to "Pardon Me" by Incubus and I'm searching through the ******** 60 different live versions for the studio one when I realize just how crappy I feel right now and I have nothing better to do so I should write a journal entry about it.


The funny part is I never realized Pardon Me was an emo song until today, when I looked up the lyrics. Meh.


Anyway, ever since the doc replaced the rubberbands, I feel like I've gone backwards. I can't eat by myself unless I want half of the food to go on the ******** floor (Or on my shirt) and drinking is even a chore now. I can't open my mouth as wide, and it hurts more. It feels like my teeth are falling out, or I have something in my mouth that I should get out, but can't, because there's nothing in my mouth.

I've become so frustrated with how hard stupid normal s**t is to do that I just stopped eating. I was doing fine for a while, just living on protein shakes, but as my parents become ever-so-much more concerned with my health (I'm getting about 200 calories a day when I should be getting 2000) I've become way more irritable.

Yes, I know I need to eat. But I don't like feeling like an invalid or having you feed me or me trying to feed myself but end up more hungry afterward because I worked off the food before I ******** ate it.

So my birthday was october 5th, which was I dunno, 3 days a go I guess. Nothing happened in real life. And I mean. Nothing.
They forced me to eat some keesh and they sung happy birthday with a candle "21" inside the keesh, but that was it. No presents, no well wishes, no nothing. My brother said he had a present for me but it wouldn't arrive until "tomorrow" which was yesterday. He won't tell me what it is and he hasn't given it to me yet.

I really hope whatever day months after this I decide to celebrate my 21st birthday makes up for this.

Well, aside from that, I had a rather okay time online. <3
More people than I thought wished me a happy birthday, and I got a lot of (item) gifts. Of course emo's early gift, which rocked, and then mythey got me some art of Q and her character together, which was also cool. The Mad Prophet, who I used to order art obsessively from, contacted me yesterday and said he'd draw me some art too. I asked for art of Q and Merumiharu. Meru and I have been best friends for a long time but haven't been talking for a long time because of... Well I don't know. But anyway I thought it'd be nice to get some more art of us together again.

For people keeping up, I commissioned DrunkenStyle for irl money last month. He PMed me a while a go and said it might be early. Then his ISP died and yesterday he said it was going to be more late (obviously) because rl stuff got in the way. While I understand, I'm slightly paranoid because more often then not, when someone says it's going to be late (to me, anyway) I never get it.

But, that aside, I did get excited because he did give me some concept sketches.


I wish I had an estimated time of arrival for the CG, but I'm not going to get my hopes up. As long as I get anything at all I'll be fine. <3

Other than that, because I haven't been eating, I've been sleeping a lot more. So yeah. Uh. SLeep.

Yesterday I slept for.. I dunno, half the day I guess, then spent the rest of the day on the computer, updating and finishing my profile archive.
http://profile.thegcw.com

It lists all the profiles I've ever made-- THAT I CAN FIND.
I know I'm missing at least one profile, but with how many times I've reformatted, I'm surprised I kept backups of half the stuff I kept backups of.

On my birthday, I spent time updating http://thegcw.com It has a new main page. Nice looking; finally changed the mascots around a bit like people asked. I added pages I have needed to added.

What I have next on my plate for that site is going to be extremely hard to pull off. I want to have some sort of community edit aspect. Where I host all the text-less versions of the comics and/or "clean" versions of the comics (Where I go through by hand and erase everything in the speechbubbles) and then have people submit their edits to my archive.

There is absolutely no way it'll be automatic- I have no PHP skills and I honestly do not want to learn PHP. At least, not that much. I asked Windpower to help with my ideas (he runs gaiatools.com and we bounce ideas off eachother a lot) but he says he wouldn't want to help with that because... Well... I run a competitor site xd gaiatools.com also has a story archive. Meh.

Anyway, I slept until like 3pm today and my dad is making cursory "invalid" and "bed ridden" jabs at me which are :/
And my mom is trying to get me to go outside more.

Maybe I don't look as bad as before but I really don't want to go anywhere. I'm sorry but I hate this, and I'm almost wishing I'd never gotten the surgery now.

If my face looks more round by the time I'm healed I'm going to be really pissed with myself. :/

Oh, an afterthought-- GCW used to be linked to directly from the tektek toolbar. I'm wondering if I should contact tekton and be like "Hey can you link it again" since it's basically finished.
(He linked it the first time without my knowledge).